Georgia Family Law Blog

Is Work Or A Divorce Keeping You From Your Child?

I have posted previously on software and other tools to help parents and children of dvorce keep up with schedules and improve communication. This is a similar product which deserves a look:

For parents burdened by a divorce or a heavy workload, it is becoming increasingly difficult to stay in touch with their children and each other. Visitation rights might decree that a parent only gets to see a child every other weekend, or perhaps the parent returns home from the office so late each night that their kids are already asleep. Additionally, children themselves are becoming busier and busier - extra academic studies after school, practice with the sports team - which further reduces the contact between parent and child. Whatever the reasons, a communication chasm is appearing between many parents and their children.

Community advocate and business owner Sheila Butler found that - like the parents in many of the other 40 million other 'broken' families across America - daily communication with her spouse about their children became next to impossible following her divorce two years ago.

"There were times when communication with my ex was difficult at best," recalls Sheila. "The question I kept asking myself was 'How are we both ever going to keep up with what's going on in our kids' lives?' but there was no solution available."

With necessity so often being the mother of invention, this mother of two set out to find her own solution, and in so doing developed the 'Kids in Motion Planner' (www.kidsinmotionplanner.com) to help her - and the millions like her - stay in touch with their current or ex-spouses concerning the kids.

Sheila offers parents the following tips:

1. Keep an ongoing involvement in your children's lives.

2. Try and have a window of information into your kids' everyday schedules and developments.

3. Keep an open line of communication, not just between the child and parent, but also the two parents themselves.

4. Give your kids an added 'security blanket' by letting them see that Mom and Dad are cooperating and interested in their development.

5. Enhance the safety nets - parents must stay in contact regarding important changes in their child's life; such as a change in medication.

6. Give children a sense of purpose. Knowing that there are expectations on their parents as well as themselves gives kids purpose and an increased feeling of success when objectives were reached.

Since developing the 'Kids in Motion Planner' (www.kidsinmotionplanner.com) Sheila has become even closer with her 9 year old daughter, and keeps up to date better than ever before with her 20 year old son, who is constantly traveling with the military.

"From my own experience and from the feedback I've received from others, the 'Kids in Motion Planner' has proven to be a highly successful tool for families," she says, "and I mean the whole family - to our knowledge this is the first time anyone has involved the child in the issue of divorce and shared custody in a positive manner."

Although being a divorced or overworked parent is never easy for a family, a little extra communication between parents and their children, and with some simple organizational tools, all families can enjoy closer, more loving, and healthy relationships, no matter what life throws at them.

SOURCE: NewsBlaze and KidsInMotionPlanner.com

A YouTube video on the product, as featured on Atlanta & Company appears below:

Related Posts:

Shared Parenting Custody Calendar Software

Think outside the box for parent-child communications

Virtual Visitation: Webcams and Weekly Visits

Collaborative Law in Georgia: Child Specialists, Coaches and the Development of the Parenting Plan

I am very pleased to present the following article, written by my colleagues in the Collaborative Law Institute of Georgia,  Howard Drutman, Ph.D. & Marsha Schechtman, LCSW of Atlanta North Psychotherapy Center, who have graciously permitted me to reprint their article here:

Around the country and indeed the world the Collaborative Divorce process embraces many different  approaches.  In some areas of the country an attorney alone comprises the “team.”  In many others, the prevailing model calls for a full team: two attorneys, two coaches, one financial neutral and one child specialist.  In most of Georgia the goal is to utilize such a “full team.”  But one  area of creative difference between and among Georgia collaborative professionals has to do with the respective roles of the child specialist and the coaches in the preparation of the parenting plan.

The model that the authors subscribe to assigns unique roles to the child specialist and the coaches.  Specifically, the child specialist evaluates the children’s functioning and needs in the context of the pending divorce.  In addition, the child specialist assists the children in developing coping strategies as well as making sure their voices are heard where decisions affecting them are made.  Once the child specialist has completed the initial evaluations, and often after a follow-up or two, he or she meets with the parents and the coaches to discuss the findings and to articulate the child’s special needs, desires, emotional status, etc.  This allows the parents to hear what the children need and want  while simultaneously allowing the coaches to hear the same information. This process fosters a much fuller understanding of that information.  It is then for the coaches to reinforce what the child specialist has said since they have heard exactly the same information as the clients. 

In this model the coaches work with the clients to develop the parenting plan taking into consideration the feedback from the child specialist.  We think it is essential that the coaches develop the parenting plan, since they have a detailed understanding of the family system and the minutia of the clients’ lives. Having the child specialist craft the parenting plan might appear appropriate from the children’s points of view but may not be capable of implementation unless it also works with the parents’ work and travel schedules, availability for transportation, etc.  The coaches, on the other hand are perfectly situated to incorporate the feedback from the child specialist, together with all of the other information they have about the lifestyles of the two parents.  It is the coaches’ responsibility to find the proper fit between the best interests of the children and those of the parents.

This model also allows the child specialist to continue working with the children on their adjustment to the divorce without getting caught up in the parents’ struggles.  The child specialist stays focused on the special needs of those members of the divorcing family who might otherwise not be able to make themselves heard. 

The coaches can maintain their focus on the details of the parenting plan and work with each of the parents on the issues, conflicts and struggles that often emerge when couples talk about final decision making, conflict resolution, schedules, and areas of parental responsibility, etc.  Working directly with the parents, coaches are in the best position to exert positive influences on them to come up with a detailed, well-crafted parenting plan – now legally required under this year’s HB 369 as of January 1, 2008– that will be realistic and work in the real world.

After all, the wording of a parenting plan may look great, but if it can’t be implemented over the long haul it isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.

SOURCE: Howard Drutman, Ph.D. & Marsha Schechtman, LCSW of Atlanta North Psychotherapy Center

2008 Brings New Child Custody Laws

The New Year will bring several new laws to Georgia including more changes to the state's rules for divorcing parents. The new law streamlines the process for determining child custody because the bill's sponsors said our old laws often trapped kids in traumatic legal battles.

Representative Judy Manning (R) chairs the House Children and Youth Committee. She and other sponsors of the new law said they'd heard from parents of kids stuck in custody fights that never seemed to end.

So, the 2007 legislature passed some changes.

One requires each parent in a custody contest to file a parenting plan with the court. The hope is the judge could then get both parents to sit down and agree on a final plan; so mom and dad won't fight to pile up hours with the kids, just to win custody from a judge who doesn't know their individual lives.

“The idea that you can count the hours that you had with your child was really too tight for the parents. It got to be too personal, and too much of a squabble,” Manning said.

Other parts of the new law:

Judges can award attorney's fees. That's supposed to keep wealthier parents from using constant challenges as a weapon.

Parents can further streamline the process by agreeing to use binding arbitration instead of the courts.

Kids 14 and over can no longer be the sole deciders of which parent's house they'll call home.

“Sometimes it became part of a bidding war, where one parent would promise a car or a computer or a cell phone or whatever,” Manning said.

Two years ago, there was a huge fight over how to divvy up money between so-called first and second families. But, this law - to shorten the pain for all kids - passed both the House and Senate with just one no vote.

The new law also requires courts to keep track of how many custody fights they handle. Up to now, lawmakers and judges haven't been able to get good statistics on how many kids are affected by custody battles.

The video of the broadcast of this report is here.

SOURCE: WXIA (11Alive.com) by Denis O'Hayer

Related Posts:

Reposting of Links to Articles on HB 369

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Public Policy Statement

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Appeals

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Parenting Plans

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Arbitration in Custody Cases

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: No Presumptions in Favor of Either Parent or Form of Custody

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Best Interest Standard

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Additional Custody Factors for Family Violence Cases

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Fourteen Year Old Election

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Custodial Preferences of 11 to 14 Year Old Children

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Custody Evaluators and Guardians ad Litem

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Findings of Fact and Conclusions of Law

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Requirements for Relocation and Chages of Addresses of Parents and Children

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Attorney's Fees

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Home Studies by DFCS

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Custody Agreements

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Extracurricular Activities Included in Joint Legal Custody Decisions

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Permissible Parenting Time Provisions in Family Violence Cases

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Effective Date

Your Custody Plan

Being creative doesn’t necessarily mean being complex. Simple plans, with both parents working together for the benefit of their children, work the best.

There are two perspectives to keep in mind: yours, as parents, and your children’s. Don’t jam your children’s lives into your schedule if you want to have a successful plan. You’ll run yourself ragged, and end up frustrating the children. Look at the natural schedules of your children, already in place, and see how you can fit into them. You will make them partners in your plan, in a way, because it seems like their plan.

Weekends are traditionally a change of pace for both you and your children. Assuming you work all week, you will have time on the weekends to spend with your children, who have time for you because they’re not in school. It’s a natural time for your children to move from one parent to the other for a few days or the entire week.

If regular weekends don’t coincide on your schedule and your children’s, look to see what works best. If you have Monday and Tuesday off, it usually makes more sense to have the children on those days than leave them alone while you’re at work on Saturday and Sunday.

Don’t limit the time the time you schedule with your children to the weekends. A few hours in the evening with your children is at least as valuable as the playtime on the weekends. You’ll be more involved in parenting with the day-to-day activities than in taking them to the park, the movies or the beach on the weekend. Your children may be old enough to take care of themselves after school. If they’re too young to be on their own, arrange quality after-school care. Start thinking like a single parent.

Don’t split your children up as part of a plan except perhaps in the case of older children who have very strong opinions about where they want to live. Continue to spend time with each of them alone occasionally; simply avoid breaking the family further apart unless there’s a reason that can’t be ignored. Your children are bonded to each other and fill important roles in each other’s lives.

Assume that your children are in grade school and you work from about eight to five each weekday. Your basic options for having the children include: (1) a week at a time changing custody each Friday evening, for example; or (2) every Sunday evening through Friday evening, plus every other weekend; or (3) every weekend; or (4) every other weekend. Whenever you’ll be away from your children for four or more days, try to schedule a visit with them for a few hours somewhere in the middle of the gap. If you can’t spend an hour or two with them, give them a telephone call.

Expand the basic weekend schedule when you want to include an extra day at the start, or end, or both. It’s easy to pick your children up Thursday night or keep them until Monday night. You’ll each get a slice of the other’s regular routine, and it doesn’t increase the number of trips back and forth.

Don’t expect your children to drag a suitcase to school when they’ll be staying with you. Make it easy on them by having what they will need while with you on hand. If necessary to transfer a lot of “stuff,” pick it and them up at the other parent’s home. When either of you pick up the children, let the other know about any special problems or schedule changes. However, this is not the time to discuss your problems with your ex-spouse.

Holidays should be shared as equally as possible. It’s not usually practical to split up each holiday; instead, alternate from year to year on the important days. Stagger them so the parent getting Thanksgiving doesn’t get the next holiday. If you remain in the same community, each of you may be able to see your children on their birthdays; if not, then start the practice of giving them two birthday celebrations.

Creating Co-Parenting Plans that Work

Whatever disadvantages there may be to sitting down with your soon-to-be ex-spouse to work out a parenting plan there is one undeniable truth to keep you at the table: You two are the only people who truly know your children, their needs, the demands of all of your schedules and the relative strengths and weaknesses of each parent. By working together to make a plan that fits both your lives, you avoid a court's cookie-cutter solutions. Hopefully, you also create a new framework for the active participation by each of you in the care and raising of your children. Remember, statistics show that parents who prepare a plan jointly are 80% more likely to comply with it than if a plan is imposed upon them by a third party. An experienced family law attorney can help you create a plan that is right for you and your family.

To make a parenting plan that works, family and divorce experts recommend crafting a plant that is both specific and flexible. You should create a workable system for dividing responsibilities so that the plan can work whether parents get along well or not. You can rotate primary responsibilities or you can agree to delegations when you agree that one parent has an issue covered. Be sure to include terms requiring each parent to treat each other with respect in front of the children or when they can overhear conversations. Determine how future conflicts will be resolved and build in periods of review and adjustment-usually after the first year and then every two or three years thereafter.

Items that should be included in every parenting plan include:

• Visitation/Shared Parenting Schedules
  
  
  • Use a regular calendar and a school calendar to plan for and anticipate school breaks and holidays, summer vacations and weekend start and stops.
  • Define when holidays start and end.
  • Remember to include days like Mother's Day or Father's Day and birthdays.
  • Create a formula for anticipatable events that will work for the first one to two years of the plan's life.
  • Don't forget to include drop-off and pick-up times and locations.
    
• Access for both parents to medical and school records, teachers and activities
  
  
  • Make sure both parents have the right to make emergency medical decisions.
    
• Child support payments and inclusions
  
  
  • Include what is covered and who gets the tax deductions.
  • Designate whether payment will be made directly or through state support divisions.
  • Make sure the paying spouse has adequate life insurance to cover support obligations in case of a sudden death.
  • Designate which parent is responsible for costs associated with children's ongoing medical and dental insurance and related expenses.
  • Don't forget childcare, education and extra-curricular activity expenses and whether they will be paid directly to the provider.
  • Address how you will deal with delinquent payments.
    
• Travel details and expenses when parents live in different states
  
  
  • Be specific if there are age-related travel concerns or other requirements.
  • State any restriction on domestic or international travel.
    
• Changes and Notifications
  
  
  • Draft a set of rules for how you will deal with changes like special events or unanticipated business travel.
  • Set up a system that gives the other parent notice on a considerate basis when making long term plans or changes in address, telephone number or employment.
  • Include notice provisions for school activities, events, and conferences.
  • Establish how notice will be given of new childcare providers, children's location during visitation and new relationships or people present during time with children.
    

And Don't Forget....

Parents end up back in court when they fail to plan for events in the future. Make sure your parenting plan contains provisions that address:

• Future moves to different states
• Elective medical/dental procedures like orthodontics
• Impact of loss of employment or disability
• Methods and timeline for child support review
• College selection and expenses
• Adjusting visitation based on children's ages

To ensure you have adequately addressed all appropriate custody issues, you should review your parenting plan with an experienced family law attorney prior to agreeing to a final version or having it entered as an order by the court.

SOURCE: FindLaw

Custody & Visitation Dos and Don'ts

The one thing divorce doesn't change is your status as your child's parent. Whether you have a traditional visitation schedule or a flexible co-parenting plan, or whether your plan is temporary or permanent, you can make the time spent with your children as happy and productive as possible. When questions regarding custody and visitation arise, an experienced family law attorney is the best source for competent counsel.

DO

• Balance flexibility and promptness. Try to be on time when children are being picked up and when children are being returned. It shows you respect your former spouse and your kids, and lets them know visitation is a priority to you. That said, being flexible about traffic, play dates and sick kids makes the time you spend with your children more like real life and less like something that is different from the rest of their lives. It also eases stress around transitions for your children.
  
• Make visitation time parenting time. Resist the impulse to be a Disney Dad or a Merry Mom by cramming your time full of treats, outings and special events. Don't over schedule your child. Your kids need time to just be with you and to talk with you where you can really listen. Kids like rules and having reasonable responsibilities during their time with you makes your space feel more like home.
  
• Make your home their home. Kids need a place in your place and friends where they go. Get to know your neighbors and help your children make friends. Set a schedule so your children know what to expect. Use checklists or separate sets to make sure they have what they need in both places they live.
  
• Make age appropriate schedules. Toddlers and teenagers have different needs. Do the research and make sure your visitation schedule or parenting plan is meeting the emotional needs of your child's current developmental stage.
  
• Include extended family. Try and fit in visits to grandparents and other extended family so your child stays in touch.
  
• Respect your Ex. Let them know about changes in your scheduling, travel plans, or if new babysitters or romantic interests will be with your kids while they are with you. Communicate where you will be while you have the kids and how emergencies should be handled.
  
• Seek experienced counsel from a family law attorney if you need legal advice or representation on any custody or visitation issue.

DON'TS

• Don't make love equal money. You should support your child's time with their other parent and it should never be about whether or not support has been paid. Equating time with money makes your kids feel like they are worth exactly as much as the support you receive.
  
• Don't let divorce emotions spill out during visitation transitions. Don't fight in front of the kids. Don't use guilt or make your kids feel bad about enjoying being with their other parent. Make every effort to be polite to each other when the kids are around or when they can hear you.
  
• Don't make your kids arrange their own visitation. Setting schedules is an adult responsibility you need to do for your child.
  
• Don't make kids be emotional mules. Don't ask you kids to carry messages to your ex, don't ask them to spy and don't subject them to the third degree about every detail of time spent away with the other parent when they are with you.
  
• Don't take your child's side in their disagreements with the other parent. Let your children know they need to resolve problems with their other parent independently and don't let them pull you into the middle of their dispute, unless you believe they are in danger or you have serious concerns.
  
• Don't allow your child to manipulate visitation. Unless your child is under five, children must understand that visitation is not optional. Children under five are often resistant to visitation switches and need some extra understanding. At any age, if visitation resistance persists both parents need to support seeking professional help to address the issue.
  
• Don't feel like you have to handle it all yourself. Experienced family law attorneys are available to support you in stressful times and have the expertise to help you reach the best possible resolution of your custody and visitation issues.

SOURCE: FindLaw

Georgia’s new parenting plan law will have big effect

Judge Ellen McElyea is a graduate of the University of Georgia Law School, and practiced law in Canton for a number of years. In 2000, she became judge of Cherokee County Juvenile Court, where she served until she was appointed to the Superior Court of the Blue Ridge Judicial Circuit (Cherokee County) by Governor Sonny Perdue in 2007. She wrote the following article, which appeared in the Cherokee Tribune:

This year, the Georgia General Assembly enacted legislation that makes several significant changes to Georgia's child custody laws.

Because approximately 65 percent of the civil cases filed in Cherokee County Superior Court are domestic relations cases, these changes will have a considerable effect on the families and children of Cherokee County, and on the work of the court.

The underlying policy of the new laws, according to the General Assembly, is to reflect Georgia's policy of assuring "that minor children have frequent and continuing contact with parents who have shown the ability to act in the best interest of their children and to encourage parents to share in the rights and responsibilities of rearing their children after the parents have separated or resolved their marriage or relationship."

The requirement of a written parenting plan brings Georgia in line with national trends. The goal is an important one: to encourage divorcing and divorced parents to give real consideration to the ways that divorce impacts their children, and to make well thought out plans for their children's well-being.

Beginning Jan. 1, 2008, parents must file a parenting plan in any case in which child custody is an issue (except in cases where a family violence temporary protective order is sought.). Currently, there is no specific form required for the parenting plan, although the Georgia Supreme Court is expected to adopt one after the first of the year.

The parenting plan is required to be comprehensive. It should acknowledge the importance of a child having a continuing relationship with both parents. It must address the legal custody of the child, a plan for the child's physical care, including holidays and school vacations, and transportation for the exercise of parenting time. The plan must acknowledge the importance of each parent having access to records regarding school, health care, extracurricular activities and religious training, and it must also designate, as between the parents, who has responsibility for making major decisions about the child.

The parenting plan may be filed by the parents jointly, or each party may file a separate parenting plan as a proposal to the court. If only one parent submits a parenting plan, the court may adopt the parent's plan if the court finds that the plan is in the child's best interest.

Any parenting plan is subject to acceptance or rejection by the court based on the court's finding of the child's best interest, health and welfare.

The new law outlines a list of factors a judge must consider in determining whether or not to accept a parenting plan, or in making custody award in general. All of these considerations have been taken into account by judges for many years, but this is the first time that Georgia law has specifically articulated them.

Among these, the law expressly requires the judge to consider the willingness and ability of each parent to facilitate and encourage a close and continuing parent and child relationship between the child and the other parent, consistent with the best interest of the child.

One new provision allows parents to resolve issues related to child custody through binding arbitration. The parties may select their arbiter and decide which issues will be resolved in binding arbitration. The arbiter's decision will be final unless a judge makes a specific finding, based on evidence presented at hearing, that under the circumstances the arbiter's award would not be in the best interest of the child.

Finally, in another significant change in the law, in all custody cases in which the child has reached the age of 14 or older, a child shall have the right to select the parent with whom he or she desires to live, and this selection is presumptive unless the parent is determined not to be in the best interest of the child.

Previous Georgia law permitted a child 14 or older to make an election, which was binding, unless the parent selected by the child was unfit. Given the difficult standard of proving a parent unfit as a matter of law, the former law gave a 14-year-old child virtually free rein to pick the parent of his or her choice. The new law is a restriction on the choice of a child fourteen or older, requiring that the child's choice must be in his or her "best interests."

Parents of minor children who are involved in a divorce should understand the difficulty in navigating the law regarding child custody and support. A judge cannot give legal advice, and cannot assist any party in complying with the parenting plan requirement. Parties will be required to do even more "homework" in preparation of court.

To make sure that the end result is an order in their children's best interest, divorcing parents will find themselves in critical need of legal advice from an experienced domestic relations lawyer.

SOURCE: Cherokee Tribune

Parenting Plan Orders

A proposed new Uniform Superior Court Rule and a model Parenting Plan have been promulgated, as part of the implementation of House Bill 369 on January 1, 2008. The new Rule and the proposed Parenting Plan appear below:

Rule 24.10.  Parenting plans

In all cases involving permanent custody or custody modification (except when a parent seeks emergency relief for family violence), each parent shall prepare a parenting plan, or the parties may jointly submit a parenting plan. 

The parenting plan should be tailored to fit the needs of each individual family but should be in substantially the following form:

What's Best for My Child? Ages and Stages of Children

As we approach the January 1, 2008, implementation date for HB 369, the Georgia Shared Parenting Act, we are mindful of the new requirements for parenting plans in divorce and other family law cases involving custody (joint or shared) of minor children. The 9th Judicial Administrative District Office of Dispute Resolution, covering the courts in most of North Central and Northeast Georgia (Superior Courts of Cherokee County, Fannin County,  Forsyth County, Gilmer County, Gwinnett County, Habersham County, Hall County, Lumpkin County, Pickens County, Rabun County, Stephens County, Towns County, Union County, and White County), has prepared a helpful pamphlet called "What's Best for My Child? (Ages and Stages of Children). You can find it here or it is included below.

SOURCE:9th Judicial Administrative District Office of Dispute Resolution

Related Posts:

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Parenting Plans

What is a Parenting Plan?

Avoiding Parenting Plan Mistakes

Not only avoid mistakes, but make sure your plan is as complete as possible. Cover all the basis. Most important in this process is to try to work together in preparing the parenting plan. Both parents will be much more pleased with the plan if they work on this together and not hand over this important process to the judge. The judge will be happy to decide these important issues for you. But, I am almost 100% certain, if you let the judge decide you will not be happy.

Thanks to the Oklahoma Family Law Blog and the Kansas Family Law Blog for a heads up on this great information.

Many divorced couples find themselves back in court for post-decree litigation simply because of poorly drafted parenting plans. Listed below are some of the most common mistakes and oversights related to parenting plans.

What are the Benefits of a Detailed Parenting Plan?

When parents come to an agreement on a detailed parenting plan that reflects the overall best interest of their child they will often enjoy a more stable, predictable, and consistent schedule by reducing the amount of misunderstandings, conflicts, and legal costs often associated with litigation and the courts. A parenting plan is a document that is created in the context of a child custody matter to help the parents outline a parenting schedule, which may include a description of their timeshare with their child and each parent’s responsibilities to raise their child.

How can parents and their children benefit from a detailed parenting plan? Creating a detailed parenting plan can provide predictability in the parenting schedule for both the parents and their child. This allows the parents to make plans for their child and implement a regular and consistent parenting routine for him/her. A child who knows in advance which parent he/she will be with and what he/she will be doing can feel more secure, stable, and self-confident than a child who is left constantly worrying and wondering where he/she will go and what he/she will be doing.

How can a detailed parenting plan reduce my legal costs? Having a detailed parenting plan can reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings between the parents and the conflicts parents often face with ambiguous parenting schedules. Having a detailed parenting plan can reduce the potential for disagreements between the parents thereby helping the parents stay out of court and away from litigation. Over time, parents who have a detailed parenting plan in place typically experience lower legal fees and attorney costs, which are often associated with high-conflict child custody disputes and protracted child custody litigation.

Although a detailed parenting plan will generally benefit both the parents and children involved in a divorce and child custody dispute, you would be wise to consult an attorney to learn where you stand legally on your particular matter and to learn if a detailed parenting plan is the best approach for your situation before entering into any sort of proposed parenting plan agreement.

SOURCE: Child Custody Coach

What is a Parenting Plan?

When parents divorce or separate and a child is involved decisions about where the child will live, how the child will be raised, and the routine decision making about the child’s upbringing is often a difficult and emotional issue for parents to sort out in the mist of their divorce. With so many decisions that need to be made in the context of a divorce and child custody situation it is not uncommon for the parents to become frustrated, stressed, and overwhelmed especially if they do not know where to begin. So where does a parent involved in a divorce and child custody begin? You can begin by working on a parenting plan separately or together that takes into consideration your child's needs and also reflects what you believe to be in the overall best interest of your child.

A parenting plan is a document that outlines the parenting schedule or timeshare and can include each parent’s responsibilities to raise their child. A parenting plan can be lengthy and detailed or it can be brief and simple. A parenting plan should include the standard parenting schedule, which can include where the child will live during the week and weekends and who will be responsible for taking and picking the child up from school and other activities on certain days. Additionally, the parenting plan can address the holidays, summer vacations, and how other special days during the year will be divided between the parents. Regardless of what is included in your parenting plan it should be predictable, clear, and easy to understand. Further, the parenting plan should take into consideration the needs of the child and reflect his/her overall best interest.

Because the family dynamics vary from family to family there is no one-size-fits-all parenting plan that works well for all families. Some parents may have a shared parenting plan, which allows the child frequent and continuous contact and/or to live with each parent 50% of the time. Other parenting plans may limit one parent’s contact to every other weekend plus a mid-week visit or mid-week overnight. Other parenting plans may be further restrictive allowing for dinner visits but no overnights.

Although it is wise to create a parenting plan that you believe reflects the best interest of your child, it is also wise to consider consulting an attorney to learn where you stand legally on your particular matter before entering into any proposed parenting plan agreement. This is especially important in cases where you believe the other party has ulterior motives or is not working in good-faith to build a parenting plan that truly reflects the overall best interest of your child.

SOURCE: Child Custody Coach

Co-Parenting Tool For Divorced Parents

It is a real challenge for even the friendliest of divorced parents to communicate with each other and keep one another up-to-date on all that is going on in their child’s life. If you or someone you know is in that situation, I'm happy to tell you about JointParents.com, a tool that can help parents with  co-parenting, child scheduling, expense tracking, virtual visitation, discussions and even sharing photos.

One parent commented "Using this site helps me stay organized. I now have one place for my child's events, ex's expenses, and all kinds of other important information."

Check it out and if there are any of you using it, please post your comments here.

Source: Kansas Family Law Blog. and Oklahoma Family Law Blog

An Analysis of Georgia House Bill 369: Parenting Plans

Section 5 of HB 369 is where the most substantial changes to Georgia law were made in the bill. It affected several existing Code sections and I will address each by reference to the statute it changed or added.

OCGA 19-9-1
The previous version of this statute was completely deleted and replaced with new provisions

Parenting plans are now required in all cases involving custody of a child, except in family violence cases. Each parent can submit their own proposed plan or they can submit a joint plan. It is up to the judge as to when the plan must be submitted. A plan must be submitted for all final hearings in original or modification of custody cases, and may, in the judge’s discretion be required for temporary hearings. The final decree  in any case involving custody must include a parenting plan.

What goes into a parenting plan? Unless otherwise ordered by the judge, a parenting plan shall include the following:
(A) A recognition that a close and continuing parent-child relationship and continuity in the child´s life will be in the child´s best interest;
(B) A recognition that the child´s needs will change and grow as the child matures and demonstrate that the parents will make an effort to parent that takes this issue into account so that future modifications to the parenting plan are minimized;
(C) A recognition that a parent with physical custody will make day-to-day decisions and emergency decisions while the child is residing with such parent; and
(D) That both parents will have access to all of the child´s records and information, including, but not limited to, education, health, extracurricular activities, and religious communications.
(2) Unless otherwise ordered by the judge, or agreed upon by the parties, a parenting plan shall include, but not be limited to:
(A) Where and when a child will be in each parent´s physical care, designating where the child will spend each day of the year;
(B) How holidays, birthdays, vacations, school breaks, and other special occasions will be spent with each parent including the time of day that each event will begin and end;
(C) Transportation arrangements including how the child will be exchanged between the parents, the location of the exchange, how the transportation costs will be paid, and any other matter relating to the child spending time with each parent;
(D) Whether supervision will be needed for any parenting time and, if so, the particulars of the supervision;
(E) An allocation of decision-making authority to one or both of the parents with regard to the child´s education, health, extracurricular activities, and religious upbringing, and if the parents agree the matters should be jointly decided, how to resolve a situation in which the parents disagree on resolution; and
(F) What, if any, limitations will exist while one parent has physical custody of the child in terms of the other parent contacting the child and the other parent´s right to access education, health, extracurricular activity, and religious information regarding the child.

Finally, if the parties cannot reach agreement on a permanent parenting plan, each party shall file and serve a proposed parenting plan on or before the date set by the judge. Failure to comply with filing a parenting plan may result in the judge adopting the plan of the opposing party if the judge finds such plan to be in the best interests of the child.

Create a successful parenting plan for children after divorce

'The Co-Parenting Survival Guide' advises parents on how to let go of conflict and do what's best for the kids. Read an excerpt:

Parents face unique challenges after divorce. In "The Co-Parenting Survival Guide," psychologists Elizabeth Thayer and Jeffrey Zimmerman set out rules for parents to calm the emotions and ease the stress of shared parenting. Read an excerpt below.

A dozen golden parent agreement rules
Most of the literature on co-parenting discusses sets of rules (Blau, 1993; Ricci, 1980) to follow when interacting with the other parent or when dealing with the children. These rules are designed to provide a structure for your interactions and to prevent conflict. They are crucial, simple fundamentals that need to be adhered to at all times to prevent hurting the children. Their simplicity makes them easy to accept, and few parents ever say that they don’t want to follow them. They would find it hard to argue that the rules aren’t in their children’s best interests. However, the dynamics of high-conflict relationships are such that the rules are easily broken. It is a good idea to keep these rules close at hand so that you can refer to them whenever fighting impulses arise. Melinda Blau’s book (1996) provides daily meditations for parents that can keep you focused on the behaviors that will enhance co-parenting relationships. Do whatever is necessary to make sure that the children’s needs are treated with the respect that they are due. You wouldn’t talk to a colleague or client in ways that would inflame them, nor would you interfere with their work or their relationships with shared personnel. You would work with them and figure out how to get the results you want and need. You need to treat your co-parent the same way.

The following are our recommendations for rules of conduct as co-parents. These rules should be reviewed and formally signed by both parents.

Child Custody: Benefits of a Detailed Parenting Plan

When parents come to an agreement on a detailed parenting plan that reflects the overall best interest of their child they will often enjoy a more stable, predictable, and consistent schedule by reducing the amount of misunderstandings, conflicts, and legal costs often associated with litigation and the courts. A parenting plan is a document that is created in the context of a child custody matter to help the parents outline a parenting schedule, which may include a description of their timeshare with their child and each parent’s responsibilities to raise their child.

How can parents and their children benefit from a detailed parenting plan? Creating a detailed parenting plan can provide predictability in the parenting schedule for both the parents and their child. This allows the parents to make plans for their child and implement a regular and consistent parenting routine for him/her. A child who knows in advance which parent he/she will be with and what he/she will be doing can feel more secure, stable, and self-confident than a child who is left constantly worrying and wondering where he/she will go and what he/she will be doing.

How can a detailed parenting plan reduce my legal costs? Having a detailed parenting plan can reduce the likelihood of misunderstandings between the parents and the conflicts parents often face with ambiguous parenting schedules. Having a detailed parenting plan can reduce the potential for disagreements between the parents thereby helping the parents stay out of court and away from litigation. Over time, parents who have a detailed parenting plan in place typically experience lower legal fees and attorney costs, which are often associated with high-conflict child custody disputes and protracted child custody litigation.

Although a detailed parenting plan will generally benefit both the parents and children involved in a divorce and child custody dispute, you would be wise to consult an attorney to learn where you stand legally on your particular matter and to learn if a detailed parenting plan is the best approach for your situation before entering into any sort of proposed parenting plan agreement.

SOURCE: Your Child - Your Divorce

Suggested Parenting Plans for Adolescents Age Thirteen to Eighteen

Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce

• Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Friday until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. Some flexible contact is possible during other times.

More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce

• Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Thursday until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. Dinner on the "off" Thursday, plus some flexible contact during other "off" times.

Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce

• Every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday with one parent; every Saturday from 5:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday with the other parent with more flexibility to meet teenager’s own needs.
• Alternate weeks with each parent with some flexible contact.

SOURCE: EmeryonDivorce.com

Suggested Parenting Plans for Late School-Age Children from Ten to Twelve Years Old

Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce

• Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Friday until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. Alternate Mondays from 5:00 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. on the Monday following the weekend spent with the residential parent.

More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce

• Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Thursday until 4:00 p.m. on Sunday. Every Monday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.

Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce

• Every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday with one parent; every Saturday from 5:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday with the other parent.
• Alternate weeks with each parent with exchanges on either Fridays or Sundays.

SOURCE: EmeryonDivorce.com

Suggested Parenting Plans forEarly School-Age Children from Six to Nine Years Old

Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce

• Every Friday from after school until 5:00 p.m. Saturday.
• Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. Friday until 4:00 p.m. Sunday. Alternate Mondays from 5:00 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. on the Monday following the weekend spent with the residential parent.

More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce

• Every Friday from after school until 5:00 p.m. Saturday. Every Monday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.
• Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. Thursday until 4:00 p.m. Sunday. Alternate Thursday evenings from 5:00 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.

Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce

• Every Thursday from 5:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday.
• Every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday with one parent; every Saturday at 5:00 p.m. until 3:00 p.m. on Wednesday with the other parent.
• Every Monday and Tuesday with one parent; every Wednesday and Thursday with the other parent. Alternate weekends from Friday through Sunday with each parent.

SOURCE: EmeryonDivorce.com

Suggested Parenting Plans for Preschoolers from Three to Five Years Old

Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce

• Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. on Sunday.
• Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Friday until 1:00 p.m. on Sunday. Alternate Mondays from 5:00 p.m. until 7:30 p.m. on the Monday following the weekend spent with the residential parent.

More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce

• Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 2:00 p.m. on Sunday. Every Wednesday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.
• Every other weekend from 5:00 p.m. on Friday until 3:00 p.m. on Sunday. Every Monday and Wednesday from 11:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m. picked up and returned to day care.

Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce

• Two weekdays from 1:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m.. (substituting for child care). Overnights every Thursday night. Every other weekend Thursday from 1:00 p.m. until 2:00 p.m. on Sunday.
• Every Thursday from 5:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. on Saturday.

SOURCE: EmeryonDivorce.com

Suggested Parenting Plans for Toddlers: Eighteen Months to Three Years

Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce

• Every Saturday from 2:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m. Overnight until 10:00 a.m. on alternate Sundays
• Every other weekend from 2:00 p.m. on Saturday, with an overnight until 11:00 a.m. on Sunday. Alternate Monday evenings from 5:00 p.m. until 7:00 p.m. on the Monday following the weekend spent with the residential parent.

More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce

• Every Saturday from 9:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., including a nap. Overnight until 9:00 a.m. on alternate Sundays. Every Wednesday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 6:30 p.m.

Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce

• Every Saturday from 10:00 a.m. until 10:00 a.m. Sunday. Every Monday and Wednesday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.; some contact/feeding/bedtime takes place at residential parent’s home.
• Two weekdays from 1:00 p.m. until 5:00 p.m. (substituting for child care); every Friday from 1:00 p.m. until 12:00 p.m. on Saturday.

SOURCE: EmeryonDivorce.com

Suggested Parenting Plans for Infants and Babies: Birth to Eighteen Months

Traditional Options for an Angry Divorce

• Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., including an afternoon nap.
• Every Saturday from 9:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m.; every Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., picked up at day care and returned to other parent’s home.

More Integrated Options for a Distant Divorce

• Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., including an afternoon nap; every Wednesday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 6:30 p.m., perhaps spending some time at the residential parent’s home.
• Every Saturday from 2:00 p.m. until 6:00 p.m.; every Monday and Wednesday from 3:00 p.m. to 5:30 p.m., picked up at day care and returned to other parent’s home.

Closely Integrated Options for a Cooperative Divorce

• Every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m., including an afternoon nap; every Monday and Wednesday evening from 4:30 p.m. until 7:30 p.m.; some contact/feeding/bedtime takes place at residential parent’s home.
• Two weekdays from 8:00 a.m. until 1:00 p.m. (substituting for child care); every Saturday from 11:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m.; occasional Saturday overnights if the baby seems to tolerate them well.

SOURCE: EmeryonDivorce.com

Emery's Alternative Parenting Plans (Child Custody Schedules)

Making decisions about where children will live is one of the most frightening and difficult tasks of divorce. The prospect of no longer being with your children all the time is bad enough. The thought of losing your children can be terrifying. The fears – and the conflicts that can stem from them – often are compounded by traditional legal language: One parent wins custody, while the loser gets only "visitation" with his own child.

Good parenting isn't a contest. Parents can take a different, more child-friendly approach to both legal negotiations and the child-rearing agreements they construct. Like many experts, I prefer to think about this challenging task as devising a parenting plan, a legal agreement that spells out a clear, specific schedule for children as well as guidelines for each parent's coparenting responsibilities and role in decision making. In fact, you may chose not to use terms like custody and visitation in your parenting plan.

From the beginning of your consideration of alternative parenting plans, you need to recognize several key issues.

Parenting plans with kids in mind

Many courts still order a one-size-fits-all custody arrangement in which fathers see their children every other weekend, and mothers assume parenting duty the rest of the time.

However, psychological research suggests families fare better with individualized custody plans tailored to fit children's developmental stage and individual circumstances, as well as the particular relationship between children and their parents.

That research shows that children experience cookie-cutter plans as confusing and arbitrary, notes clinical psychologist and divorce expert Joan B. Kelly, PhD. Especially affected are children who have good relationships with their fathers and those so young they "have no cognitive capacity to understand why this abrupt decrease in their contact with the object of their affection occurred," she notes.

Other research she cites in a paper in press at the Journal of the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers finds that:

Developing a Parenting Plan: A Guide for Divorcing Parents

The Shared Parenting bill now pending in the Georgia legislature mandates parenting plans. For a look at what should be included in such plans, see the following excerpt from an article by Leanne Spengler, published by the University of Missouri:

The parenting plan will direct the future parental and parent-child relationships. For this reason, parents should be actively involved in developing the parenting plan. Research suggests that when the parents can work together to develop the parenting plan, the plan is much easier to implement and works more effectively. If the parents are cooperatively parenting, they can be supportive of each other, share responsibilities, and make decisions regarding the child's care and well being.

The parenting plan

Parents know the most about the child and the child's needs. Parents are also aware of their parenting strengths. The parenting plan should be based on both parents' strengths in meeting the child's needs. This guide defines terms and discusses considerations that need to be addressed in deciding the specific details of a parenting plan. The information follows the same form as the Missouri Parenting Plan Guidelines.