Georgia Family Law Blog

Will Collaborative Divorce Work for You?

When it's time to divorce, spouses have important choices to make about how to proceed and what type of help they'll ask for from others -- including lawyers, mediators, and other professionals. Some people will go on to a lengthy high-conflict divorce with attorneys representing each side, trying to get everything they possibly can. Others will easily agree on how to divide their property and share custody of their children, and might only need help in preparing the legal paperwork to get divorced. But many people fall in the middle, and for those folks,

Divorcing spouses may have different points of view on issues like property division, custody, or support. But this doesn't mean that they have an actual dispute that has to be resolved by a third party. They may simply need help making the decisions together -- and perhaps advice about what's best for them.

The Collaborative Process

Collaborative divorce (also called collaborative law, or collaborative practice) is a process in which you and your spouse negotiate an acceptable agreement with some professional help. You and your spouse each hire specially trained collaborative attorneys who advise and assist you in negotiating the settlement agreement. You meet separately with your own attorney and the four of you meet together on a regular basis, in "four-way" meetings. A collaborative divorce may also involve other professionals, such as child custody specialists or neutral accountants, who are committed to helping you settle your case without litigation.

Ordinarily, both spouses and their attorneys sign a "no court" agreement that requires the attorneys to withdraw from the case if a settlement is not reached and the case goes to court.

Eventually, you will have to have some contact with a domestic relations or family court to get legally divorced. Through collaboration, you can keep that contact brief and manageable. Once you reach agreement on all the issues, you'll make the legal part of the divorce a simple, uncontested procedure that doesn't require a trial or contentious hearings on points of evidence and pretrial maneuvers.

How Collaborative Divorce Helps

There are five ways that collaboration can cut down on the acrimony and expense of divorce, while giving you results that are at least as good as what you'd get in court. You and your spouse can:

• stabilize the situation through a temporary agreement
• exchange all necessary information voluntarily
• agree on legal procedures that minimize expense and streamline the process
• negotiate a settlement that works for you, and
• decide how to handle post-divorce decisions.

Whether you and your spouse use collaboration from the very beginning of the divorce process or only for part of it, you will save time and money. Perhaps just as important, you will more likely get through the divorce with your privacy and dignity reasonably intact.

For more information on collaborative divorce, and for help finding a collaborative lawyer in your area, see the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, at www.collaborativepractice.com.

SOURCE: Nolo.com

The Collaborative Divorce Process

The Collaborative Divorce model was developed by a group of attorneys, mental health professionals and financial planning experts whose experience with traditional divorce led them to the conclusion that litigation is injurious to families and especially to children. They were certain they could develop a healthier way to help families through divorce. The Collaborative Divorce model has grown rapidly with practitioners throughout the United States and Canada.

In Collaborative Divorce, couples who have decided to end their marriage work with a team of professionals to avoid the arbitrary and uncertain outcomes of court and to achieve a divorce settlement that best meets the specific needs of both parties and their children. Collaborative Divorce focuses on settlement, and addresses communication dynamics. It offers a more healthy and effective forum for the resolution of the couple's divorce issues. The goal of Collaborative Divorce is to help the couple define and implement the settlement that best meets the needs of their family, and learn new skills for more effective communication, conflict resolution and post-divorce co-parenting. In order to accomplish these goals, three independent professional disciplines work together as a team to integrate the legal, emotional, and financial aspects of divorce.

The Collaborative Team helps the parties achieve a divorce that minimizes the negative economic, social, and emotional consequences that undermine families in the traditional adversarial divorce process. By maintaining a primary focus on the needs of children and the welfare of the family overall, the Collaborative approach helps parents provide their children with the emotional support, and healthy co-parenting they need.

The specific roles of the professionals on the Collaborative Divorce team are as follows:

The Role of The Collaborative Family Law Attorney

Each party has a Collaborative Family Law attorney. In individual meetings with the client, and in joint meetings with the other attorney and the other party, each attorney will:

1.	Represent the best interests of his/her respective client while maintaining the overall goals of the Collaborative Process.
2.	Work with the other attorney and the Collaborative Team to help the parties design the settlement agreement that is most appropriate for their family.
3.	Facilitate the settlement discussion and incorporate client agreements into the final settlement documents.
4.	Prepare all the documents that need to be filed with the Court.

The Role of the Collaborative Divorce Coach

Each party has a Collaborative Divorce Coach. Divorce Coaches are licensed mental health professionals. In individual and joint meetings the coaches work with the couple to:

1.	Identify and prioritize the concerns of each person.
2.	Make effective use of conflict resolution and communication skills.
3.	Develop effective co-parenting skills.
4.	Work collaboratively with the couple, their attorneys and the other involved professionals to improve communication, reduce misunderstandings and solve problems as they come up.

The Collaborative Divorce process has demonstrated that the family can get through divorce in a more emotionally healthy way when the couple is able to learn to interact and communicate with each other in a more respectful, honest and open manner. Communication and self-management skills are taught to parents by their coaches. The couple uses these new skills in their settlement discussions, and in their post divorce co-parenting.

The Role of the Child Specialist

The Collaborative Team Child Specialist will work with the children and the parents to:

1.	Provide each child with an opportunity to voice his/her concerns regarding the divorce.
2.	Provide the parents with information and guidance to help their children through this process.
3.	Give information to the parties and the Collaborative team that will help the parties in developing an effective co-parenting plan for their children.

The Role of the financial specialist

The Collaborative Team financial specialist works with the couple to:

1.	Provide on-going, practical financial guidance, planning, support, and budgeting guidance throughout the divorce process.
2.	Assist with the discovery process by gathering and organizing documentation and information relating to the parties' incomes, expenses, assets, and debts.
3.	Make sure that both parties have a thorough understanding of their current financial situation.
4.	Educate the clients regarding the short and long-term economic consequences of settlement plans being considered so as to enable them to make fully informed decisions and choose what is most appropriate for their situation.

The Collaborative Divorce process is controlled by the parties. It keeps the decision-making power where it belongs, with the people affected by the outcome. This is very different from a court process where ultimately the court and state formulas decide what the divorce settlement and co-parenting arrangement will be. In the Collaborative Divorce model the couple sets the agenda for their divorce, and they determine the settlement that is best for their family. The parties retain full decision making authority and control.

There are requirements for what constitutes a Collaborative Divorce. Both parties must dedicate themselves to honesty, openness and a willingness to place the welfare of the entire family first. The desire to change ineffective communication patterns and the commitment to work at change are vital to a successful outcome. Communication training is as critical to the process as the legal and financial negotiations. If dysfunctional patterns are not changed, conflict persists. It is this focus on changing the couple's way of interacting with each other that makes the Collaborative Divorce process a better approach to both divorce, and post divorce co-parenting.

SOURCE: Collaborative Family Law Group of San Diego

LIFE AFTER DIVORCE – CAN BOTH PARENTS GO TO WEDDINGS, GRADUATIONS, AND BIRTHDAY PARTIES?

The following article is by Washington attorney Karin Quirk. She refers to "cooperative divorce," although we practice "collaborative divorce" in Georgia. The approaches and philosophies appear to be similar and she practices with both methods.

Recently while working with a couple to end their marriage I had a sense that something was missing. Through a lot of negotiation and hard work we had developed a parenting plan, support orders and the property settlement agreement. The final divorce would be completed without engaging in litigation. But I felt something was still missing. The negotiations had taken their toll and this couple was so angry it would be impossible to be in the same room at major events in their children’s lives. I consider this a loss to both parties and a loss to their children.

How often we read in advice columns about a bride and groom conflicted because a mother insisted she would not attend the wedding if the father was there or the father would not attend college graduation or come to a birthday party if mother was present. What a disservice these parents had done to their son or daughter. Could it have been possible to have divorced differently so the future relationship could be more harmonious?

There is a growing group of divorce attorneys and marriage counselors who insist it is possible. The way a couple handle the divorce process can affect their future relationship with their children and each other. If the divorce is handled in a non-adversarial process with mutual respect the parties can move forward with their lives unburdened by the emotional baggage of a high conflict divorce.

This “respectful” divorce can be handled through mediation, collaborative law or mutual, interest-based negotiation. I categorize this type of divorce under the overall term of “cooperative divorce”.

Is a Cooperative Divorce right for you?

Choosing a cooperative divorce means that you value an approach that focuses on the needs of the entire family. If you answer "Yes" to most of the questions below, a cooperative process is right for you.

• Are you more interested in moving on with your life than in perpetuating a marital battle in court?

• Do you want to be in control of your future, including custody and financial support issues, rather than relying on a court's decision?

• Do you want your divorce to be between you and your spouse and not aired in public?

• Do you want to end the emotional battle--the anger, upset and fighting?

• Do you want to be treated with respect and dignity during your divorce process?

If you have children:

• Do you and your partner feel your children are your primary responsibility when making financial plans?

• Do you want to preserve your children's emotional health during and after the divorce?

• Do you want your children to be able to invite both their parents to all the special events in their life?

Think about your future legacy.

In a cooperative divorce the parties and the "team" focus on the future. Even adult children can be a factor. Think about what it will look like when there are grandchildren. Don't you want everyone to go to the birthday parties?

My favorite story is of a young girl who attended the final session of her parents collaborative law session. She drew a picture of her family. It was a two house family, but still a family. Think about how much brighter her future will be and think about the impact on her future relationships.

Your children’s special events will truly be special despite their parent’s divorce. You owe it to them.

SOURCE: Karin Quirk, a Bellevue, Washington Attorney-at-law specializing in Collaborative Law and Cooperative Divorce

So what is this collaborative law thing anyway?

I wish the answer was simple, but it’s not. You would almost have to go through it to fully understand it, but that’s not very helpful either.

Perhaps the best way to answer the question is by comparing it to the traditional divorce model. In that system, one party files a petition for dissolution of marriage that then gets served on the other spouse, usually by sheriff’s deputy or perhaps certified mail. There may be temporary matters that are handled through a court hearing: custody and parenting time for the kids, child support, spousal support, someone moving out of the house, and the like.

If there are lawyers on both sides, they engage in the discovery process (formally or informally) to determine what property exists, what it’s worth, and what debts there are. They then try to negotiate a settlement that the parties can live with. If they can’t reach an agreement, the parties go to trial, present evidence, undergo cross examination, and let the judge make the decision. If a party is unhappy, he or she can appeal.

If there is one thing that characterizes the traditional divorce model it’s this: If we can’t get an agreement, we’ll let the court decide. This option–being able to go to court–means parties can be unreasonable. “I’ll take my chances with the judge,” is a line familiar to many divorce attorneys, and it often follows a rejection of someone’s proposal.

Another main characteristic of the traditional divorce model is that it involves the parties and their lawyers, along with the judge. Mental health counselors become involved either as court-ordered counseling takes place or when the counselors have to do custody evaluations. Financial professionals become involved when a business has to be valued.

In a nutshell, even an amicable divorce can be like Kramer v. Kramer. It’s one spouse versus the other. Cooperation and working together is the exception to the rule.

Collaborative law turns the entire process upside down as well as inside out. It may seem strange, but that’s only because we’re used to thinking of divorces as “me vs. you” cases. If we think about what’s really going on in a divorce, the collaborative model makes a lot more sense.

In a collaborative divorce, the parties take the court option out of the picture. Both sides agree at the start that they will not go to court for anything other than to file the final settlement agreement. Most of the work is accomplished through four-way meetings with the parties and their attorneys. Unlike four-way meetings in a traditional case, however, a collaborative four-way meeting has the parties doing most of the talking and the lawyers listening. The goal of collaborative law is to have the parties decide what is important to them in the case: making sure the children are taken care of, making sure that the parents can get along after the case is over, not having resentment between the parties after the divorce is final. Early on, the lawyers listen to the parties identify what their real interests are (”I want the children to be able to stay in the home they know.”) rather than simply their positions (”I want the house.”).

Once the real interests are identified, every decision the parties need to make is looked at through those lenses. For example, does a particular item help the parties achieve their goals, or does it push them further from those goals? The lawyers are not involved to argue on behalf of the clients, but rather they are there to help the clients take care of the things that need to be taken care of (”What about all those frequent flyer miles–how should we divide those up?”) and to provide ideas for ways to resolve a specific issue.

The collaborative process also brings in other professionals when it would be helpful. Often times, there may be a counselor or “divorce coach” to help the parties resolve underlying emotional challenges. A financial planner may be brought in to help one or both spouses figure out how to make ends meet in a way that fosters their goals. This team helps the parties transition from being married to being single again on many different levels. There’s no “me vs. you” in a collaborative law case. It’s more of a “we’re in this thing together, and we need to get out of it together” approach.

What seems to make this model really work is taking the courts away as an option. At the beginning, the parties and their attorneys sign a contract that says first, we won’t go to court. It also says that if someone decides to throw out that commitment and go to court, both attorneys have to withdraw from the case. The other thing that makes this system work is that the lawyers focus on the clients’ interests as identified by the clients–not what the lawyer thinks the client needs.

Collaborative law is more than what many of us attorneys already do. Many of us are cooperative and help clients get things done without any court involvement. But collaborative law takes the process to an entirely different level. Any and all conflict goes out the window–conflict doesn’t help the parties who are already hurting. The pain and difficulty of the situation is recognized and respected. In some cases, the parties even do a sort of “closing ceremony” at the end.

I know, at first I thought that was going over the top, but as I think more about it, people find comfort in certain rituals, even sad ones. A funeral is a ritual to help people grieve the loss of a loved one. In the case of a divorce, a person has not died, but the relationship has. A closing ritual can help the parties close the chapter on that part of their lives and avoid conflict later on. I’ll have more about the need for a “healthy goodbye” in another post.

Collaborative law is not for everyone. If one spouse is bound and determined to destroy the relationship, collaborative law will not help. Likewise, if the opposing attorney is, as we say, a real savage, he or she will have to really work hard to re-train the mind.

If you talk to divorced parties, many of them probably regret that there is some bitterness between them or that they cannot be in the same room together at a child’s high school graduation. Collaborative law offers parties the option of obtaining a divorce and moving forward with their self-esteem intact and ready to begin the next part of their lives.

SOURCE: Indiana Family Law Blog

Download free Collaborative Divorce Knowledge Kit

The International Academy of Collaborative Professionals wants you to discover the collaborative process and whether collaborative divorce is right for you. To that end and for a limited time, the IACP has created a kit that answers many of the common questions about collaborative divorce and has the kit available for download.

For a limited time, the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) is offering a free, downloadable "Collaborative Divorce Knowledge Kit". The kit is designed for individuals unsure of the Collaborative divorce model. It explains the non-court Collaborative process and includes a "Litigation Divorce vs. Collaborative Divorce" chart that directly compares the two models and recent case studies.

In the Oscar-award winning movie "Juno," the husband (played by Jason Bateman) said, "We can get a Collaborative divorce. I hear it's all the rage." He's right. There are twenty times more collaborative professionals now than just ten years ago. And this explosion is changing how people get divorced from Canada to the Far East.

One reason is people appreciate how Collaborative divorce keeps the process out of the courtroom and lets the people involved maintain control of the entire process. The result: a mutually beneficial outcome for all parties - especially the children.

Another benefit: considerably less emotional stress during and after the divorce.

But is a Collaborative divorce a viable alternative to a litigated divorce? The answer is available in a downloadable, free kit called the "Collaborative Divorce Knowledge Kit." This kit was created by the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP). IACP is an international non-profit organization dedicated to educating the public and professionals about Collaborative Practice.

The free "Collaborative Divorce Knowledge Kit" explains how the collaborative model works and what to expect from the process. It includes case studies of families who chose collaboration and their outcomes. Plus it contains a convenient chart directly comparing collaboration to litigation.

This comprehensive kit is available free for a limited time through the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP) website at: http://collaborativepractice.com/_res.asp?M=5

For more about the Collaborative divorce process, please refer to the attached article "Collaborative Divorce - Redefining Families Instead of Breaking them Apart".

Discover if the collaborative model is right for you. Download your free Collaborative Divorce Knowledge Kit. This kit answers many of the common questions about Collaborative Practice. You'll also learn about real families -- families like yours -- who used the Collaborative model. And see how it benefited them. To find out more, download your kit right now.

SOURCES FOR POST: Domestic Diversions and International Academy of Collaborative Professionals and EMediaWire

Many couples embracing collaborative divorce

Collaborative divorce. The term sounds like an oxymoron in a culture steeped in high-cost, high-conflict breakups.

Yet many couples are embracing the approach, recently endorsed by the American Bar Association, as part of a broader quest to find more civilized, efficient ways to end a marriage. Do-it-yourself divorces and mediation also are popular options.

Lawyers by the thousands want to be part of the trend.

"Most of us had that moment where we realize the adversarial process is so damaging for our clients — and there's a recognition that we can do better," said Talia Katz, a former divorce lawyer who is executive director of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals.

Katz said the academy, just eight years old, now has 3,000 members, mostly lawyers but also financial planners and other professionals. She estimates that 20,000 attorneys have received training in collaborative law, and groups promoting the practice are active nationwide.

In contrast to mediation, in which divorcing couples entrust a resolution to a single neutral mediator, collaborative divorce involves the use of attorneys for each party, often joined by other expert consultants. But the lawyers, instead of sparring, pledge from the outset to work together in crafting an outcome that is fair to all.

"Most clients in a dispute are looking for an honorable peace, not war," Boston lawyer David Hoffman wrote in recent op-ed for The Christian Science Monitor. "Collaborative lawyers can be just as zealous about seeking such a peace as litigators are about victory in the courtroom."

Hoffman works at the Boston Law Collaborative, where the staff includes a psychologist and a financial planner. It offers divorcing couples a range of options, including mediation and collaborative divorce as well as conventional litigation.

The firm analyzed 199 of its recent divorce cases, and found that mediation, collaborative divorce and litigation all produced high rates of successful settlement. Mediation was by far the least expensive option, with a median cost of $6,600, compared to $19,723 for a collaborative divorce, $26,830 for settlements negotiated by rival lawyers, and $77,746 for full-scale litigation.

What You Can Learn from a Divorce Coach

In a collaborative divorce, each spouse usually hires their own divorce coach to help them learn to communicate and negotiate more effectively. These coaches are an integral part of the collaborative divorce team. They teach life skills that will form the basis for your post-divorce relationship with your spouse. If you have children, the skills learned from your divorce coach can make co-parenting go more smoothly after the divorce.

Your divorce coach will provide you will skilled help in:

• Managing your emotions appropriately.
• Separating your thoughts from your feelings.
• Thinking through emotionally charged issues.
• Learning to talk about difficult problems in a businesslike manner.
• Setting short and long-term goals for yourself, your children and your co-parenting relationship.

Conflict management, creative problem-solving, negotiation and productive communication are among the valuable life skills you can learn with the help of your divorce coach. Your coach can help you identify bad habits and problem areas in your relationship with your spouse and learn to communicate more productively. Divorce coaches help you and your spouse focus more clearly on your individual goals and the positive changes that can come about as a result of your divorce.

SOURCE: Divorce Without Dishonor

Collaborative Divorce Case Study Summaries

The following Collaborative Divorce Case Study Summaries are found at the website of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), the standard-bearer for the Collaborative movement with more than 3,000 members in 13 countries:

1. A music executive and his financially dependent wife decide to get divorced. They have a 5-year old daughter. CP helps couple navigate the complicated financial arrangement as well as the tricky issue of the daughter’s contact with the wife’s new boyfriend and the wife’s pregnancy with the new boyfriend. (P. Tesler/LA, CA)

2. It was husband’s second marriage, first wife had taken off and was out of the picture. His current wife, the stepmother of his children, was the only effective mother his two kids had ever known, and due to fertility issues they were the only kids that she would ever have. Ordinarily she would have had no parental rights, but CP ensured that she stayed in the kids’ lives. (P. Tessler/SF, CA)

3. A husband and wife, both ministers and with 4 kids, were living happily with the husband’s partner as a part of the family and under one roof. The partner wanted to come out, ultimately leading to a divorce a trauma for the family. CP restored the friendship that had been in danger of being lost and allowed the family to reach an acceptable solution. (P. Thompson/Orinda, CA)

4. Two parents had a special needs child that was the subject of their financial conflict. CP not only enabled them to refocus their discussion and come to an agreement, but to continue to work together after the divorce to make sure that both their children receive the care and support that they need.  Vicki Carpel Miller/Phoenix, AZ )

5. After a rough legal battle, Mary and Stan decided to modify their originally litigated divorce settlement. CP allowed them to do this so amicably that Stan even offered to help Mary out of a financial rough spot after the divorce was over. (D. Schwartz/Oxnard, CA )

6. 5 kids from age 5-16. Co-owned auto mechanic business in MD. Mom had no intention of recognizing dad’s participation and contribution to lives of children. He was raised Catholic. Dad initiated process, was first to buy into process. Wife had never been a disciplinarian. Father wanted kids to get a job at McDonald’s. Very different family philosophies. Finally settled on a complete 50/50 split of children. 2 businesses. She ended up meeting an attorney whom she is marrying. (D. Shoop/MD)

7. New England stay-at-home-mom (very photogenic) was married to a wealthy physician for 30 yrs. After adult daughter went to collage, wife decided on divorce so she could “breathe,” but wanted her daughter to feel as if mother was in no way taking advantage of father in divorce process. Wife wanted divorce, husband was destroyed and adamant that case be over immediately. She wanted to honor husband, including all he had done to build the estate, and conduct process is least painful manner possible. Wife was also determined to have no regrets, either about the decision or the process of separation. The wife was liberated on a spiritual level by Collaborative Practice by maintaining peace and integrity even throughout the separation, doing it in the most honorable way possible. (Gay Cox/Dallas, TX )

8. An Atlanta couple of 16 years entered into a ‘new’ relationship with the help of Collaborative Practice. Having a team of lawyers, a child psychologist and a financial planner allowed the family to talk through a fair financial arrangement and to meet the needs of the children. Collaborative Practice helped the couple keep their perspective of what is important. The entire process only took six months and both parents still meet once a week to give each other updates on what has happened the previous week in the children’s lives. (Tricarico/Atlanta, GA)

9. A divorced couple who had once been childhood sweethearts could not keep communication civil and tensions increased as custodial issues regarding their five-year-old son arose. The breaking point for the couple led them to Collaborative Practice where they learned how to communicate with each other to enable the healthy development of their son. The collaborative process also solved the custodial issues by giving each parent 50/50 custody and arranging a financial plan where both parents contribute to costs relating to their son and both are able to monitor the spending of the money. (Sellers)

10. The entrepreneurial nature of the father’s work put a lot of drama and stress into the couple’s 28-year relationship. With the children off to college, the wife decided to initiate divorce proceedings. They chose Collaborative Practice, which helped sort out their confusion and questions regarding the separation after so many years of marriage. Both individuals left this experience affirming the time they were married, respecting each other and understanding their divergent paths. (Brantley)

11. Collaborative Practice saved the Madans’ marriage. The wife initiated the proceedings after years of frustration of feeling like the odd person out in the family. The team helped establish a less-hostile environment to proceed with the divorce and facilitated communication between the couple that in the end caused them to stay together and work out their problems through counseling. (Madans)

SOURCE:  International Academy of Collaborative Professionals

Collaborative Law in Georgia: Child Specialists, Coaches and the Development of the Parenting Plan

I am very pleased to present the following article, written by my colleagues in the Collaborative Law Institute of Georgia,  Howard Drutman, Ph.D. & Marsha Schechtman, LCSW of Atlanta North Psychotherapy Center, who have graciously permitted me to reprint their article here:

Around the country and indeed the world the Collaborative Divorce process embraces many different  approaches.  In some areas of the country an attorney alone comprises the “team.”  In many others, the prevailing model calls for a full team: two attorneys, two coaches, one financial neutral and one child specialist.  In most of Georgia the goal is to utilize such a “full team.”  But one  area of creative difference between and among Georgia collaborative professionals has to do with the respective roles of the child specialist and the coaches in the preparation of the parenting plan.

The model that the authors subscribe to assigns unique roles to the child specialist and the coaches.  Specifically, the child specialist evaluates the children’s functioning and needs in the context of the pending divorce.  In addition, the child specialist assists the children in developing coping strategies as well as making sure their voices are heard where decisions affecting them are made.  Once the child specialist has completed the initial evaluations, and often after a follow-up or two, he or she meets with the parents and the coaches to discuss the findings and to articulate the child’s special needs, desires, emotional status, etc.  This allows the parents to hear what the children need and want  while simultaneously allowing the coaches to hear the same information. This process fosters a much fuller understanding of that information.  It is then for the coaches to reinforce what the child specialist has said since they have heard exactly the same information as the clients. 

In this model the coaches work with the clients to develop the parenting plan taking into consideration the feedback from the child specialist.  We think it is essential that the coaches develop the parenting plan, since they have a detailed understanding of the family system and the minutia of the clients’ lives. Having the child specialist craft the parenting plan might appear appropriate from the children’s points of view but may not be capable of implementation unless it also works with the parents’ work and travel schedules, availability for transportation, etc.  The coaches, on the other hand are perfectly situated to incorporate the feedback from the child specialist, together with all of the other information they have about the lifestyles of the two parents.  It is the coaches’ responsibility to find the proper fit between the best interests of the children and those of the parents.

This model also allows the child specialist to continue working with the children on their adjustment to the divorce without getting caught up in the parents’ struggles.  The child specialist stays focused on the special needs of those members of the divorcing family who might otherwise not be able to make themselves heard. 

The coaches can maintain their focus on the details of the parenting plan and work with each of the parents on the issues, conflicts and struggles that often emerge when couples talk about final decision making, conflict resolution, schedules, and areas of parental responsibility, etc.  Working directly with the parents, coaches are in the best position to exert positive influences on them to come up with a detailed, well-crafted parenting plan – now legally required under this year’s HB 369 as of January 1, 2008– that will be realistic and work in the real world.

After all, the wording of a parenting plan may look great, but if it can’t be implemented over the long haul it isn’t worth the paper it’s printed on.

SOURCE: Howard Drutman, Ph.D. & Marsha Schechtman, LCSW of Atlanta North Psychotherapy Center

Divorce Wars Hazardous to Financial Health

In its February 2008 issue, Consumer Reports lists and discusses "12 Money Blunders That Could Cost You $1 Million." Coming in at number 3 is: "Launching a divorce war":

3. Launching a divorce war (CR estimated cost: $49,000 to $188,000)

Divorce may be unavoidable sometimes, but spouses can take steps to reduce the
financial impact. Hiring lawyers can ensure everyone's interests are
represented, but the more issues spouses want to slug out, the more billable
hours attorneys can charge. CR's report found that a low-conflict divorce can
generally be mediated for about 75 percent less than using attorneys and going
to trial.

-- CR's Advice:  Because the intensity of the conflict is a major driver of
legal costs, work more toward diplomacy than war, which will increase the
viability of the low-cost mediation option. Try hardest to get along on
custody, often a hot-button issue. Property settlement is a Solomon-like 50-50
split in most states.

SOURCE FOR POST: Reuters.com

Kinder, Gentler Collaborative Divorce Also Costs Less

A kinder, gentler method of getting divorced has won fans among both clients and counsel. But it has yet to win over some traditionalists, who wonder, for instance, why collaborative divorce must include a promise not to litigate. (Those who violate the ban on courtroom battle have to start over again with new counsel.)

“I have no issue … with two lawyers sitting down with two clients to work out a deal, but why it’s necessary to wrap all these conditions around it is beyond me,” David S. Goldberg, a Gaithersburg, Md., family law mediator tells the Daily Record, a Maryland legal and business publication.

Nonetheless, an increasing number of soon-to-be-former spouses and their lawyers are embracing collaborative divorce, as well as do-it-yourself divorce and mediation, in an effort to eliminate unnecessary animosity, reports the Associated Press.

"Most clients in a dispute are looking for an honorable peace, not war," writes David Hoffman, a Boston lawyer, in a Christian Science Monitor op-ed piece about collaborative law practice. "Collaborative lawyers can be just as zealous about seeking such a peace as litigators are about victory in the courtroom."

A recent American Bar Association ethics opinion (PDF) provides important support for collaborative divorce, by finding collaborative law agreements consistent with lawyers' obligations to serve their client's best interest, notes Hoffman, who chairs the Collaborative Law Committee of the ABA Section of Dispute Resolution. (What Hoffman describes as a "maverick" Colorado Bar Association ethics opinion earlier this year reaches a different conclusion than the ABA and several other state bar associations, however.)

Cost may also be a motivating factor in the quest for a peaceful resolution of a problem marriage: The Boston Law Collaborative, where Hoffman works, recently analyzed 199 of its divorce cases. It found that mediation had a median cost of $6,600, followed by $19,723 for collaborative divorce, $26,830 for a divorce settlement negotiated by counsel, and $77,746 for a litigated divorce.

SOURCE: American Bar Association Journal Weekly by Martha Neil 

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Team Divorce: Why Six Professionals Cost Less Than Two Lawyers

Collaborative Divorce Law

Collaborative law is a way of practicing law in which the attorneys for both of the parties in a family dispute agree to assist them in resolving conflict or legal issues using cooperative strategies, instead of adversarial techniques and litigation. To be "adverse" means to oppose, while "advocating" means speaking up for.

Early, nonadversarial, participation by attorneys allows the parties and attorneys to use the more positive aspects of good lawyering not often seen in adversarial proceedings, such as:

• Rational analysis
• Creative problem solving
• Generating multiple options
• Maintaining a positive context for settlement and
• Building a foundation for long-term coparenting

Advantages of Collaborative Law

Collaborative divorce law is:

Generally less costly than litigation

More client-friendly, in that you're a vital part of the settlement team of both parties and both attorneys

Cooperative in resolving issues

Less stressful, as it generates much less fear and anxiety than court proceedings

Less time-consuming, as you can reach agreement and the legal proceeding can be finalized within a short time.

Collaborative law allows you control the proceedings, instead of a judge.

Who is a Good Candidate for Collaborative Law?

As you may know, Collaborative Law is a process for resolving legal disputes without going to court, except to have an agreement approved by a court. Parties engage in a series of relatively short meetings where they identify their goals, assess the facts of the case, brainstorm to generate options to solve problems, evaluate the suitability of the various options and then create or select the best means to achieve the goals for each of the parties. Neutral experts are often brought in in [Georgia] Collaborative Law cases, as needed, for specific functions. If the process breaks down, the parties must retain different attorneys to go to court with them.

Collaborative Law is a voluntary choice at the outset and the parties can opt out at any time, but it works about 93-95% of the time because, for most cases, it can result in more creative, customized and peaceful solutions than traditional litigation. While it may seem counterintuitive, many people are able to be open, honest and cooperative even in difficult cases that involve issues such as custody, extra-marital relationships, unique possession schedules and substantial and complex property issues.

Rise of collaborative divorce is not for everyone

In my practice as a Marietta and Atlanta area divorce and family law attorney, I am a big proponent of collaborative divorce law as a superior means to traditional litigation to resolve most family law disputes. However, it is not for every case or every couple in such a dispute. An article in the Washington Times, which appears below, makes that very point.

SOURCE: Washington Times

Collaborative divorce trades negotiation for confrontation

Lisa Kimmell knew what she wanted from her divorce, starting with a written guarantee that her ex-husband would help pay for their sons' college expenses, and working through a number of other items.

The 46-year-old Mariettan also knew what she did not want — expensive, time-consuming warfare.

"I could have gone through all that, and it could have been very ugly," she said. "But I decided to try what I hoped would be an easier route."

That route turned out to be collaborative divorce, an alternative that substitutes negotiation for confrontation. It is becoming more popular, in part because more people have discovered it and in part because more professionals are practicing it.

In too many traditional divorce proceedings, each party gets lawyered up and prepares to make war, not love. An attorney becomes a weapon of choice, and the process itself becomes a fight.

Now a growing number of lawyers and other professionals are trying a more constructive path. About 80 lawyers now are members of the Collaborative Law Institute of Georgia, along with 20 financial consultants, nine mediators, and 32 divorce coaches and child specialists.

Collaborative Law Info

• What is Collaborative Law?
  Collaborative Law is a name given to an attitude toward resolving legal disputes and the policies and practices that put that attitude into action. You won't find collaborative law in the statutes or administrative regulations but you will find it in the professionalism and integrity of those who practice law.
• What areas of the Law are prime for Collaborative Law?
  While many areas of the law are good candidates for Collaborative Law, it is most commonly, at this time, used in Family Law cases.
• What Types of Family Law disputes can be resolved with Collaborative Law?
• Collaborative law can be used for any dispute. It has been used the most often in the family law arena to resolve disputes related to:

Divorce, Legal Separation or Annulment
Child Custody/Parenting Plans
Visitation and Visitation Disputes
Spousal Maintenance/Alimony
Child Support, Daycare Costs and College Tuition
Valuing Assets
Division of Property
Division of Debt
Tax Issues
Paternity Issues
Break-up of Same Sex Partnerships
Guardianships
Adoption

• What is the Collaborative Law attitude?
  The basic attitude marking collaborative law is of solving the problem, not fighting the fight. Simply stated, it is treating the process as a way to "trouble shoot and problem solve" rather than to fight and win. Some people look upon the civil justice system as a place to resolve a dispute they have with another. Collaborative law is what they're looking for.

Measuring the True Cost of Divorce

I have posted a number of articles on Collaborative Divorce Law. The following, about the intangible values in resolving a divorce case in a more respectful manner, is from an article by Bruce Derman, Ph.D., of The Coalition for Collaborative Divorce, from its site, NoCourtDivorce.com:

There are many things that go into the price of a divorce besides money and property. See if any of the following are costly for you by filling in the value of each item. At the end total the amounts and you will begin to see the true cost of your divorce.

What is it worth to truly celebrate your child's wedding together?	$_______
What is it worth to be able to co-parent your children?	$_______
What is it worth for your child to not end up in therapy as a result of your divorce?	$_______
What is it worth for your children not to be emotionally scarred from your divorce?	$_______
What is it worth to have your ex support your visions for your children?	$_______
What is it worth to be able to look in your adult son or daughters eyes knowing you ended their most important relationship with dignity and integrity?	$_______
What is it worth to be able to have your children grow up in a safe, respectful, non-abusive atmosphere?	$_______
What is it worth for your child to not have to take care of your emotionally following your divorce?	$_______
What is it worth to not drag your ex into your next relationship?	$_______
What is it worth to resolve your long-term concerns for your family?	$_______
What is it worth to not live under the threat of going back to court constantly?	$_______
What is it worth to support your highest self and not your lowest?	$_______
What is it worth to not have to continually obsess on the unsatisfactory experiences that occurred in your divorce?	$_______
What is it worth to feel that the decisions involved tin ending your marriage were not yours?	$_______
What is it worth to live your life from love, not hate?	$_______
TOTAL COST OF DIVORCE	$_______

Collaborative Law Approach in Family Law Cases

Collaborative law is a new way to resolve disputes by removing the disputed matter from the litigious court room setting and treating the process as a way to "troubleshoot and problem solve" rather than to fight and win.

As part of the collaborative law method, both parties retain separate attorneys whose job it is to help them settle the dispute. No one may go to court. If that should occur, the collaborative law process terminates and both attorneys are disqualified from any further involvement in the case.

Each party in the Collaborative law process signs a contractual agreement which include the following terms:

• Disclosure of Documents.  Each party agrees to honestly and openly disclose all documents and information relating to the issues. Neither spouse may take advantage of a miscalculation or an inadvertent mistake. Instead, such errors are identified and corrected.
• Respect.  Each party agrees to act respectfully and avoid disparaging or vilifying any of the participants.
• Insulating Children.  As part of the process all participants agree to insulate the children from the proceeding and to act ins such a way as to minimize the impact of the divorce on them.
• Sharing Experts.  The parties agree to implement outside experts where necessary in a cooperative fashion and share the costs related to those experts. (eg. real estate appraisers, business appraisers, parenting consultants, vocational evaluators, or accountants)
• "Win-Win" Solutions.  The primary goal of the process is to work toward an amicable solution and to create a "win-win" situation for all.
• No Court. Neither party may seek or threaten court action to resolve disputes. If the parties decide to go to court, the attorneys must withdraw and the process begins anew in the court system.

Collaborative law can make divorces cheaper, civilized

Good marriages you've seen. How about a good divorce?

Some lawyers say there's a way to a better matrimonial finale called "collaborative law." It was devised by Stu Webb, a Buddhist Minneapolis-based lawyer who wanted a different path.

The biggest difference? If the lawyers can't get the unhappy couple to negotiate an agreement, the lawyers quit. New attorneys handle the court battle.

This is designed to create incentive for the clients to keep trying, for the lawyers to cooperate rather than be adversarial and for everyone to take a deep breath.

Lawyers who have practiced in a variety of courts know the most wrenching and unpleasant of practices can be family law. Losing freedom in criminal court and money in civil cases pales when the heart is torn asunder and people are their most wildly unhappy and obsessed. The divorce court process pretty much exacerbates every misery.

"It came out of desperation. The negativity can get to you. Every step of the litigation model is designed to create polarization," said Webb, whose divorcenet.com page shows a serene lake where his advertising brethren feature a picture of themselves looking serious and trustworthy.

He'd seen enough pain handling divorces that he was ready to leave the law when he instead created the collaborative concept in 1990. It has gradually gained steam internationally.

Tips for Parents Engaged in the Collaborative Family Law Process

by Gay G. Cox, Attorney-Mediator

You are to be commended for choosing the collaborative law process as the means to solve the problems you and your child(ren)'s other parent are having. It is evident that you want the best possible outcome for your children and see this as a means of achieving it. Based on experience with families who select this method of problem-solving, it is apparent that they tend to have some very important common values. They are parents who desire to:

1. Help the children adjust to the inevitable changes that occur when parents have differences that result in their living apart. (Making Healthy Transitions)

2. Reduce parental conflict and provide the children a conflict-free safe environment, thereby minimizing the emotionally destructive effects high conflict is known to have on children. (Minimizing Conflict)

3. Ensure that the children feel loved by the significant adults in their lives, most importantly, by their parents. (Showing Love)

4. Assure the children that it is never a child's fault that the parents are having difficulty resolving issues that affect the child. (Avoiding Blame)

5. Encourage a positive and healthy parent-child relationship between the children and their other parent. (Fostering Good Relationships)

6. Continue to help the children "feel they are heard," by actively listening to their opinions and preferences, while at the same time not burdening the children with parental decision-making. (Hearing the Voice of the Child)

7. Allow the children to have as normal a life as possible while the matter is being resolved. (Providing a Stable Environment)

8. Spare the children from being burdened with parental responsibilities and roles during a time when the parents realize they are not functioning at their best. (Letting the Children Be Children)

9. Recognize if a child is overly stressed by the changes in his or her life and utilize appropriate resources to help the child cope. (Seeking Professional Help)

10. Preserve financial resources that need to be dedicated to the children's needs, including the future education of the children. (Saving Money)

11. Model healthy communication and problem-solving skills. (Being Positive Role Models)

12. Choose from all the options for parenting time and allocation of parental responsibilities those that have the greatest likelihood of the best possible result for the sake of the children, taking into consideration the unique needs of their family. (Achieving the Best Possible Outcome)

Collaborative Family Law Promotes Divorce with Dignity

Groups of family law attorneys in several [Georgia] locations are using a “collaborative” process to resolve divorce issues, a “middle-ground” between the traditional adversarial divorce process and divorce mediation. The collaborative approach assumes that divorce is a problem to be solved rather than a battle to be won.

Q.: What, exactly, is collaborative family law, and how does it work?
A.: Developed originally by attorney Stuart Webb of Minneapolis, Minnesota and his colleagues, collaborative family law is a process through which the parties to a divorce and their individual attorneys commit themselves to resolving all issues of the divorce by negotiated agreement, without resorting to or threatening to resort to court proceedings.

Collaborative law requires both spouses and both attorneys to sign a collaborative law participation agreement. All parties - spouses and lawyers - agree to take a reasoned approach on all issues. Where positions differ, all participants agree to use their best efforts to create proposals that meet the fundamental needs of both parties and, if necessary, to compromise to reach a settlement of all issues. After this agreement is signed, each spouse meets first with his or her lawyer, and then both spouses and their attorneys attend the first collaborative meeting.

Almost all of the business is done in four-way meetings, with both attorneys and both parties present. Nothing happens in secret. The parties involved are free to talk directly across the table to their own lawyers as well as to the other spouse, and to the spouse’s lawyer. Parties are not allowed to threaten litigation or to play games or take advantage.

The attorneys agree ahead of time that, if they cannot help the parties settle the case out of court, they will NOT file a contested divorce with the court. Rather, the attorneys agree in advance that, if they cannot get they case resolved out of court, they will withdraw from the case. Thus, the collaborative law attorneys have a financial incentive to help resolve problems; if they can’t, they are out of a job.

Q.: What are the benefits and limitations of the collaborative process?
A.: A collaborative process is designed to be less time-consuming, less expensive and less confrontational than a traditional adversarial divorce. By reducing stress, it allows parties to focus on the problems to be resolved. The parties to a collaborative process are joined by their own lawyers, who represent their respective interests and can prepare all necessary paperwork. However, the parties have more control over the outcome of a collaborative settlement than of a traditional divorce and settlements are designed to meet each party’s needs. Further, the collaborative process is more private than a contested divorce, which generates court filings, transcripts and hearings in open court.

In situations where the parties cannot agree to try work out their differences together, or do not value a negotiated solution that meets the legitimate needs of both parties, the collaborative process is not likely to be effective.

Q.: How do collaboration and mediation compare?
A.: In divorce mediation, the parties meet with one neutral mediator who does not provide legal advice to either party, but rather helps the parties to reconcile their differences and settle or compromise difficulties. The mediator is only authorized to work with parties to arrive at an agreement, but is not authorized to make a decision or a determination on behalf of the parties. Like collaboration, mediation is workable only when the parties enter the mediation process with the intention of being reasonable and fair in all matters. Mediation does not always result in total agreement. Frequently, agreement on certain issues may be reached through mediation, but other issues may be referred to a court proceeding or a binding arbitration. Mediators generally do not prepare court paperwork, and they do not appear in court with clients. Parties using mediation to resolve conflicts generally consult with their lawyers outside the mediation process.

In the collaborative process, each party comes to the table with his or her own lawyer rather than to a neutral mediator, and each party is fully and individually represented by legal counsel throughout the process. It may helpful for parties who are not skilled in negotiating or in understanding financial or legal nuances to know that their attorneys are protecting their interests during the collaboration. Collaborative attorneys can prepare all necessary paperwork for their clients, and attend the required court hearing where the divorce agreement is presented to the court for approval. Handling a domestic relations case through collaborative law is roughly comparable in cost to handling it through mediation. A case resolved through collaborative law is almost certainly far less costly than a fully litigated divorce trial, both in terms of money and emotional expense.

SOURCE: Ohio State Bar Association

Collaborative Family Law: Overview

Collaborative Law: The Concept

An emerging trend in the field of alternative dispute resolution, the collaborative law concept is a structured and cooperative out-of-court approach to problem-solving that allows those in a legal dispute to work together with their attorneys toward a solution in a positive, results-focused setting. In the realm of family law, by committing to the collaborative law process, spouses and parents can finalize a divorce and resolve any related support and property disputes without stepping into a courtroom or filing a lawsuit.

Background and Development

The collaborative law process was founded in the early 1990's by Minnesota family law attorneys who were looking for a more civil, straightforward and fairer approach to divorce cases. Today, a large number of national, regional, and state collaborative law groups exist, in addition to the recently formed International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (http://www.collaborativepractice.com). Most of these organizations focus on the application of collaborative law principles to family law (typically divorce and related disputes). However, recent trends show an increase in the use of the collaborative process to resolve disputes that arise in employment and business relationships.

The Collaborative Law Process

In the family law setting, the hallmark of the collaborative law process is the participants' commitment to resolving a divorce and all related support, custody, and property disputes in a constructive and reasoned atmosphere. This commitment is made in a written agreement entered into between the spouses, in which they promise to use good faith and fairness in negotiating a resolution, and to disclose all information and documents relevant to the issues at hand. The spouses' attorneys demonstrate their commitment to the process by adhering to a fundamental collaborative law principle requiring that if either party terminates the collaborative process in favor of traditional litigation, then the collaborative law attorneys must withdraw from the case. In other words, once the collaborative process begins, if one or both of the spouses decide to pursue litigation, different attorneys must be hired to represent the spouses during litigation.

A Good Settlement

I came across an instructive and inspirational quote today, thanks to fellow blogger Grant Griffiths at the Kansas Family & Divorce Lawyer Blog. His post appears below:

A fellow family law blogging friend of mine, James Gross of the Maryland Divorce Legal Crier has a great post today. One that is one sentence long and contains some great content. Here it is:

"A good settlement is where each side gives up 60%."

James is exactly right. But even more important, the parties in a divorce case should strive for some form of settlement. I have yet to see any client of mine, even when we win everything we want, happy after a divorce trial. Settle the darn thing. Not only is it easier on the husband and wife. When there are children involved, they almost always come out better from a settlement. A divorce trial does not do either side any good. In fact, I usually see both sides coming out damaged in some way.

This is why I am such a firm believer in mediation and now collaborative law. Both, especially collaborative law, strive to come to some form of an agreement. Best of all, you the parties are deciding your case and not the court.

If you don't or won't come to an agreement, the judge will for you. And chances are, neither side is going to be happy with the order of the court. Work with your lawyer and your ex-spouse and make every possible effort to settle your case. And remember, "a good settlement is where each side gives up 60%."

The Civilized Divorce - Part II

The following article is by North Carolina family law attorney Lee Rosen: (See The Civilized Divorce - Part I):

Nationwide, collaborative divorce is attracting considerable attention as a proactive and humane settlement option, and it’s starting to catch on here in North Carolina, as well. When executed as agreed to by divorcing individuals and their attorneys, studies show that a collaborative settlement is reach faster than older forms of negotiation and greatly reduces the emotional trauma families experience in the throes of a divorce, especially the children. It also significantly lowers the expenses incurred by divorcing couples, protecting families from unnecessary resource depletion at a time when monies are needed to establish two households. In a collaborative divorce, each spouse has the support, protection, and guidance of his or her own lawyer. Often, other professionals, such as child specialists, financial experts and divorce coaches will be brought in to advise matters in their areas of expertise. Collaborative divorce is not a dispute resolution option in the same sense as mediation or arbitration. Rather, collaborative divorce is a set of voluntary ground rules entered into by the professionals hired by you and your spouse. While the details vary, the central idea is that the parties agree not to take the case to trial. You, your spouse and all professionals involved sign a contract to honor the following core elements of collaborative divorce:

When Should You Choose Collaborative Divorce

There are many law firms that limit their family law practice to collaborative divorce. Our firm does not. We offer a full range of services for divorcing people, including collaborative divorce, mediation and litigation advocacy. . . . We are committed to helping each client determine what approach is the most likely one to get them through the divorce process with the best outcome. We consider "best outcome" to include minimizing conflict and acrimony and maintaining post divorce relationships, in addition to financial results, which clients will sometimes make the mistake of concentrating on to the exclusion of other considerations. It is our belief that "collaborative law" optimizes the chances for a "best outcome" but it is not indicated in every case.

What is collaborative divorce?

[E]ssentially in Collaborative Divorce clients choose specially trained collaborative divorce lawyers who are committed to a negotiated settlement. Clients agree in advance not to go to court except for obtaining of the divorce judgment, in an uncontested proceedings. Negotiations are conducted primarily in meetings with clients and attorneys in the room. Full disclosure and transparency is the hallmark of this process. Gamesmanship, threats to "see you in court" and the like are absent from this process. In the event the case does not settle, the collaborative attorneys are required to withdraw from the case and the clients choose new litigation counsel. With this feature the attorneys have no incentive to foster litigation.

Sounds Great right? Why shouldn't everyone choose Collaborative Divirce. The following are reasons NOT to choose collaborative law:

1. Domestic violence or child abuse. Any history of recent domestic violence makes it foolish and perhaps even dangerous to consider a process in which parties are required to sit in the same room.

2. History of Financial misconduct: In a contested divorce financial restraining orders preventing the transfer of assets can be obtained automatically upon commencement of the case. This can prevent marital assets from disappearing. If there is a meaningful concern about this kind of behavior, clients should go to court immediately.

3. Serious mental illness: If one party has major depression, substance abuse, or psychosis, Collaborative Law is unlikely to work, although there is little risk in trying. Often an experienced Collaborative Lawyer is the best resource a person with such a disability can have, although, there may be a need for court intervention if the party's ability to participate in the process is seriously impaired. In that situation a court appointed "Guardian ad Litem" will be appointed to act on behalf of the impaired spouse, and in such situations, Collaborative Divorce may be difficult to pursue.

4. If one party is not committed to the Process. For Collaborative divorce to work, both parties have to be committed to attempting to work in this fashion. If one party refuses to be transparent about disclosing information, or is using the Collaborative Divorce process as a way to delay or avoid dealing with the hard issues, then the only way to move things along so the parties can finally be divorced, is to go to court.

Most litigated cases end up settling eventually, and for that reason even if Collaborative Divorce, as formally practiced is in appropriate, it does not mean that your divorce will be World War III, however, it is important that clients not be afraid to obtain the protection of the court when indicated.

SOURCE: DivorceSource

Collaborative Law: Divorce without War

Collaborative law is a new way to resolve disputes by removing the disputed matter from the litigious court room setting and treating the process as a way to "trouble shoot and problem solve" rather than to fight and win.

As part of the collaborative law method, both parties retain separate attorneys whose job it is to help them settle the dispute. No one may go to court. If that should occur, the collaborative law process terminates and both attorneys are disqualified from any further involvement in the case.

Each party in the Collaborative law process signs a contractual agreement which include the following terms:

1. Disclosure of Documents.
   Each party agrees to honestly and openly disclose all documents and information relating to the issues. Neither spouse may take advantage of a miscalculation or an inadvertent mistake. Instead, such errors are identified and corrected.
2. Respect.
   Each party agrees to act respectfully and avoid disparaging or vilifying any of the participants.
3. Insulating Children.
   As part of the process all participants agree to insulate the children from the proceeding and to act ins such a way as to minimize the impact of the divorce on them.
4. Sharing Experts.
   The parties agree to implement outside experts where necessary in a cooperative fashion and share the costs related to those experts. (eg. real estate appraisers, business appraisers, parenting consultants, vocational evaluators, or accountants)
5. Win-Win Solutions.
   The primary goal of the process is to work toward an amicable solution and to create a "win-win" situation for all.
6. No Court.
   Neither party may seek or threaten court action to resolve disputes. If the parties decide to go to court, the attorneys must withdraw and the process begins anew in the court system.

Collaborative Divorce

The Collaborative Divorce Process is a way of practicing law where the attorneys for both of the parties in a divorce agree to assist them in resolving conflict or legal issues using cooperative strategies rather than adversarial techniques and court proceedings.

The Collaborative Process started in Minnesota in 1990 in the Twin Cities' area with an initial group of four family-law lawyers. Since then, it has spread across the United States and Canada.

There are many advantages to using an attorney that practices Collaborative Divorce Law. The process is usually less time consuming and more cost effective than going through the adversarial system. The Collaborative Process uses a team approach to reaching a settlement. Both parties to the divorce are supported by their lawyers; however, they work cooperatively with their spouse. The process is much less fear and anxiety producing than using court proceedings or the threat of court proceedings. When the threat of going to court is out of the picture, it is easier to focus on reaching a settlement. When a settlement is reached amicably, it feels much more like a 'win-win' situation. In the Collaborative Process, there is a parity of payment to each attorney so that neither party's representation is deprived by lack of funds.

The Collaborative Process uses informal discussions and conferences attended by both spouses and their attorneys to settle all issues. The Collaborative Process relies on an atmosphere of honesty, cooperation, integrity, and professionalism. It requires that both spouses, with the assistance of their attorneys, provide all pertinent documents and information relating to the issues to be settled. In the event that experts are necessary, it encourages the use of jointly retained experts. Both spouses and attorneys are required to work together toward a shared resolution that is geared toward the future well being of the family.

If the parties cannot reach a settlement through the collaborative process approach, the collaborative lawyers withdraw from the case and the parties are free to retain trial attorneys to pursue the matter in court.

The collaborative process is not right for every case. The decision of whether or not your case is appropriate for the collaborative law process must be discussed with the attorney you select. If you wish to consider the collaborative law process for your divorce, consult with an attorney trained and educated in this specific area before you decide how to proceed in your case.

It takes a strong commitment on both sides to be honest and open in exchanging information, but if you and your spouse can agree to use the collaborative process, it is a viable alternative to divorce litigation.

SOURCE: DivorceHQ

Glossary of Collaborative Divorce Terms

The following is a glossary of terms used in the Collaborative Divorce process:

Legal Terms

Collaborative Attorney - An individual trained in the practice of law who espouses to the above method to aid couples in the dissolution (divorce) process. The Attorney addresses the legal issues that a couple faces in seeking a divorce. Through problem-solving negotiations that do not include adversarial techniques or tactics, the attorney advises their client concerning applicable law and its effect on them and helps them draft agreements in the spirit of cooperation.

Collaborative Law - Consists of two clients and their respective attorneys working together toward the sole goal of reaching an efficient, fair, comprehensive settlement of all issues. Each attorney's retainer agreement specifies that under no circumstances will the lawyer represent the client if the matter goes to court. If the process fails to reach agreement and either party then wishes to have matters resolved in court, both collaborative attorneys disqualify themselves from further representation. Other professionals are brought into the collaborative process as needed, but only as neutrals, independently retained by each spouse. These professionals also disqualify themselves and cannot assist either party if the matter goes to court. The Collaborative process involves binding commitments by both parties and the attorneys to disclose voluntarily all relevant information, to proceed respectfully and in good faith, and to refrain from any threat of litigation during the process.

Mediation - A voluntary, private and confidential process, whereby a couple meets with a mediator who helps facilitate their communication in order to access resources and negotiate agreements.

Mediator - A neutral, impartial person who is trained in negotiating, conflict resolution and communication skills. The mediator does not represent any party or take sides, nor does he/she act as an attorney, judge, coach or therapist. He/she explains the mediation process to the parties, and assists divorcing couples to clarify issues, concerns, interests, needs and values. The mediator brings in and works with various professionals as needs arise.

The Multi-Disciplinary Cooperative Divorce Model - In this model, clients select either collaborative attorneys, a mediator or a paralegal to help them facilitate their no-court divorce process. Other divorce professionals are called in on an as-needed basis to manage the financial, emotional, physical and spiritual issues as they arise during the divorce process. Central to this model is the idea that the clients and the professionals work together as a "team" with an attitude of cooperation and respect.

Paralegal - (Now known as a Legal Document Assistant or LDA) - An individual who helps a couple represent themselves in the dissolution of their marriage in a simple, uncontested divorce situation. An LDA will do all the processing of the paperwork throughout the divorce process. If a couple chooses to go through the Mediation Process, the LDA can also file the appropriate forms to complete the divorce.

Pro Per - (Latin) - Literally means "do it yourself." This term is often used in mediation and collaborative law to designate that clients have determined to represent themselves. For example, when filing papers through a Legal Document Assistant, clients sometimes file "Pro Per."

Financial Terms

Accounting - The system of recording and summarizing business and financial transactions, and then analyzing, verifying and reporting the results.

Certified Divorce Financial Analyst - Already trained as either accountants, investment advisors or financial planners Certified Divorce Financial Analysts receive specialized training to help divorce clients develop a fair and equitable financial settlement. Various scenarios based on different settlement options for dividing assets are explored. Spouses and their lawyers in a case review these considerations. All assets, debts, income and expenses -- include but not limited to, health benefits, retirement plans, investments, home, stock options, alimony, child support, and tax implications--are factored into the financial models.

Certified Public Accountant - An accountant who has met the requirements of state law, through appropriate education and training, and has been granted a certificate. CPAs can audit one's finances, which is vital to a fair and equitable property settlement in a divorce.

Financial Counselor - (In the CCD Model) - This professional acts as a neutral party who assists both spouses in gathering all the financial information about the couple or family in a supportive and nurturing environment. Each client is encouraged to assist in financial disclosure and documentation of the income, expenses, assets, and debts of the family. The essential shift is from a data focus to a system focus, whereby the financial counselor listens and then helps the clients understand the overall picture created by their particular family's financial situation. The knowledge gained by the clients through the data collection and documentation can aid each partner in achieving the financial settlement he/she desires.

Financial Planner/Financial Advisor/Estate Planner - Certified professionals who work in the field of accounting, insurance, or investments. They advise clients on how to invest their money to get the best return on their dollar based on their own tolerance for risk. They can facilitate retirement planning, long-term financial investment and life insurance needs.

Emotional/Mental Health Terms

Child Representative - An experienced, licensed therapist with specific education and training in the expected behaviors, stages, challenges and tasks of the development of a child. They work with the child (ren) to address specific emotional and practical day-to-day needs as they relate to the divorce process. The Child Representative also helps in designing the parenting plans that specifically address the defined needs of the child (ren) as they go through the restructuring of the family.

Coach - (In the CCD Model) - A licensed therapist who teaches communication strategies that enable the divorcing couple to more effectively negotiate and solve problems in a cooperative manner. The Coach also provides the couple with information on co-parenting issues and helps them process the emotional issues that arise during the divorce process.

Therapist - A licensed mental health professional (Marriage and Family Therapist, Psychologist or Social Worker) trained in the assessment and treatment of emotional, personality and or relationship difficulties. The therapist may function under the CCD Model to help a person move through the transitions of the divorce process. A therapist can help individuals when they are facing emotions that may be overwhelming and interfering with day-to-day functioning. The therapist may also assist a client dealing with underlying core issues that are being triggered and surfacing due to being in the dissolution process.

Please note: In the CCD Model there is a distinction made between the role of a Therapist and the role of the Coach. Any mental health professional listed may be selected to work as a Coach for a divorcing partner. However, once a client chooses a therapist to be his or her Coach, that therapist cannot function as the client's therapist as well. Should mental health issues arise that are of a deeper nature, the client can select another professional from the list of therapists in the CCD Web Site Directory.

Other Business Professionals

Actuary - Almost all actuaries are in the Insurance Industry. They are trained mathematicians dealing with probabilities and evaluating the current financial implications of future inevitable events. In the divorce process an actuary could be called upon to calculate the current assets of a couple and project what the worth would be at some future date. He/ She may also answer questions such as: How much would an unemployed person need in current assets to be equal to someone that has an established income? What would be the equivalent and what would be the future result of splitting up current assets? How long will a couple's assets last if they are split equally?

Credit Repair - A professional involved in repairing an individual's credit. He/She does more than just place the individual with a consumer credit agency, which arranges monthly payments to each creditor to whom a person owes money. This professional works directly with the individual's creditors to negotiate a pay off agreement regarding the debt the client owes to a particular company.

Employment Specialist - Helps clients assess their marketability and their vocational skills to be successful in pursuing their chosen career path in the current job market. This professional can also help clients define their values, wants and needs as they pertain to the career/job the clients are seeking. The employment specialist aids clients in resume development and educates them in successful interviewing strategies.

Investigator - Provides investigative and background information services, including asset, property and bank location searches, credit reports, etc. These reports are often necessary to meet the legal requirements of full disclosure in the divorce process.

Life Insurance Agent - A State-licensed, trained financial professional, who represents a group of financial products. These products can provide protection against the loss of a wage earner's salary due to death, provide money for burial and other final expenses, protect one's estate from liquidation due to estate taxes, provide funds for college, and accumulate a pool of cash for use in retirement on a tax-advantaged basis, among many other uses. Proceeds are generally protected from creditors and income tax.

Mortgage/Loan Broker - Acts as an intermediary to secure financing for real estate. The property can be commercial and/or residential.

Professional Organizer - A person who teaches individuals how to become more efficient in getting rid of clutter and developing systems for storing and retrieving information. Using solid techniques and methods, this professional can aid others to overcome procrastination, help those who find it difficult to throw anything away, and/or encourage those who find themselves chronically disorganized.

QDRO - (Qualified Domestic Relations Orders) - These are legal papers that direct Qualified Plan Administrators and Employers to divide retirement plan assets according to the agreement of the parties. A person, who specializes in handling QDROs can also file documents to protect Retirement Plan Assets during the divorce process.

Real Estate Agent - First level designation of an individual trained and licensed to handle all aspects of buying and selling property -- both commercial and residential. Usually an agent specializes in one or the other. He/She works under a Real Estate Broker (see below). This professional is qualified to aid clients in filling out the necessary paperwork for any real estate transaction. One of the services he/she provides is giving Comparable Market Analysis (CMA) of the value of property.

Real Estate Broker - Is licensed by the State at a higher level of expertise than an agent and is able to have his/her own Real Estate Brokerage Firm. Brokers may supervise agents that work under them and can perform all the functions of a real estate agent.

Virtual Assistant - A person who provides administrative support for small business owners, entrepreneurs, and consultants. He/She handles any needed administrative functions a client requests. Some examples of functions he/she can perform are: making appointments; doing correspondence; preparing marketing materials; maintaining databases; doing internet and telephone research; and customer follow-up.

Spiritual

In the CCD Model there is room for the spiritual aspect that is individual to every person. Our professionals are sensitive to the spiritual needs that may arise for individuals and families as the divorce process unfolds. Issues that can arise range from reaffirming one's faith despite difficult times, to addressing conflicts regarding religion and parenting plans. We encourage you to address your spiritual needs with the professional you have chosen to assist you in your divorce process, who can then talk to you about the appropriate resources available.

SOURCE: The Coalition for Collaborative Divorce

It's over - but let's be friends

Collaborative divorce lets exes-to-be work out details together.

A divorce reached through collaboration might sound odd for couples headed toward Splitsville. Same goes for their attorneys, who make serious dough when breakups are drawn-out and dirty.

Yet 25 bay area lawyers and a growing number of their clients have embraced "collaborative divorce," a process that restores the give-and-take lost somewhere after "I do."

"What's left after the massacre?" Tampa marital law attorney Nancy Harris said of traditional divorce. "It feels better to win with this process."

Traditional divorces don't always go to trial. Many go to mediation, where an arbitrator stays neutral while everyone else takes sides.

The collaborative concept puts participants on the same team. Spouses and attorneys come together with mental health and financial experts read: no judges for meetings. Before each meeting, they agree on an agenda focused on child support, asset division and alimony.

They go to the courthouse only when it's time for a judge to sign off on the final settlement.

Georgia Collaborative Law FAQ

What is the Goal of Collaborative Law?
The goal or purpose of collaborative law is to offer lawyers and their clients a structured, non-adversarial alternative to an increasingly adversarial system of dispute resolution. It guarantees consumers of legal services high quality, skilled legal counsel to assist in the evaluation and resolution of a problem, without litigation.

What Are the Benefits of Collaborative Family Law?
Collaborative family law focuses on all involved parties reaching a mutually agreed upon settlement of their disputes. The process results in valuable benefits. It creates a cooperative environment where communication remains open, which provides a setting where you can work with your spouse to meet each of your needs and your children's needs. You and your spouse shape the agreements together thus, you are more likely to abide by your agreements and maintain a tone of open communication and reduced conflict in the future. The collaborative process diminishes the parental conflict the adversarial system generates and helps protect children from facing the anguish and divided loyalties that result.

A cooperative team approach is utilized instead of the adversarial approach. Your lawyer supports you and your spouse's lawyer supports your spouse, but you all work together and, in doing so, the parties retain control of the process. In matters requiring parenting and/or financial expert opinions, both parties can jointly hire one independent consultant. That helps shorten the duration of the case and reduce the overall expense. You can schedule meetings without waiting for court dates and generally spend less time and, consequently, less money to reach closure. The fear and anxiety associated with court proceedings is also avoided and you have more privacy, greater confidentiality, and less stress during an already stressful time.

For Whom is Collaborative Law a Good Idea?
Consumers of legal services looking for experienced legal counsel and skilled advocacy, but do not want the stress, threat and cost of litigation. Not every lawyer will want or be able to practice collaborative law. Not every case will be appropriate for collaborative law, nor will every client be interested in avoiding the adversarial contest. For many, however, the adversarial experience has led to a belief that the commitment of time, energy, and money to an adversarial case often does not achieve an outcome which provides a cost effective or even the most beneficial solution to clients' problems.

Children in the Collaborative Process: The Role of the Child Specialist

Most people realize that divorce has a long term effect on children. What some may not realize is the extent of the emotional impact of a protracted and contested divorce on even small children. The following are quotes from children aged 4 to 6 who were asked to share their thoughts on divorce and on lawyers and to give suggestions to divorce lawyers and judges:

About Divorce

Divorce is when you pay lawyers a lot of money to wreck your family.

About Lawyers

                    Lawyers can be good and bad. They help people and give them tips, but they take a lot of money.

They lie a little bit to help you win; it’s someone you can buy.

I talked to one once and I thought she listened. But she took care of the money and not me.

Suggestions for Lawyers and Judges

I would tell them to make Mommy and Daddy get along. I’m too little. I can’t. If they can’t, then don’t stretch it out please.

Keep that grey tape in the court hall so that they don’t say stuff that hurts people’s feelings.

What is Collaborative Family Law?

Collaborative family law is a powerful and effective way for people who are divorcing to reach fair solutions and resolve differences, using highly trained and skilled professionals, while avoiding the cost and uncertainties of litigation. Collaborative family law is about achieving a fair and equitable settlement and assessing and accomplishing the thoughtful restructuring of the family.

The collaborative family law process is progressive because it allows couples to obtain the positive advantages of legal, financial, psychological and personal assistance in sorting out the complexities of their divorce, while at the same time focusing on issue resolution and family growth while completely avoiding the harmful disadvantages of the adversarial litigation process.

Only collaborative family law addresses the whole picture that is involved in divorce. It recognizes that divorce is more than a legal procedure or event. It is also a time of intense distress and proves to be challenging for the parties and particularly for the children. Many financial issues are involved and often they are complex. Because it does address the whole picture, the collaborative law process helps parties achieve a more complete, enriching and long term resolution.

In this process, parents and children tend to suffer fewer traumas, heal faster and have better relationships with each other after the divorce. Additionally, children are protected from the most devastating aspects of a family break-up.

People can use the collaborative family law process to resolve their entire matter, including child custody and visitation issues, property division and support. Post-divorce issues, such as adjustment of time with children or adjustment of support, can also be solved with collaborative law.

A Kinder, Gentler Way To Divorce

Collaborative divorce gains popularity as way to ease pain and suffering.

    Divorce can do much more than officially shred a marriage certificate. The dissolution can create emotional bleeding that may never heal among the parents and the children, who must somehow move on with their lives. And the financial impact of blowing a marriage apart can leave behind as much destruction as a mushroom cloud.

    Which is why an increasing number of attorneys, therapists and financial experts who work with divorcing couples are advocating that their clients choose a more productive and less hostile way to dissolve a marriage. The path less traveled is called the collaborative divorce process, which is growing in popularity across the country among professionals and their feuding clients.

    While no one knows how many couples are terminating their marriages using the collaborative process, membership in the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals, which is an umbrella group for experts working in the divorce field, is doubling every year and is now close to 1,300.

Professionals in at least 35 states have embraced the collaborative process. “The collaborative divorce phenomenon is growing by leaps and bounds across North America as the process is becoming more and more known,” says Bob Bordett, an IACP board member and a certified financial planner at Consolidated Planning Corp., a boutique investment advisory firm in Atlanta.

    At first glance, the ground rules that an unhappy couple must agree to follow during this collaborative process may sound laughable for two people who long ago stopped sharing confidences, much less bathrooms. Couples who select this approach must agree in writing not to go to court or threaten to make that move even if things don’t appear to be going their way. A spouse who breaks that promise will quickly find him or herself all alone. The attorneys and other professionals, who had been guiding the spouse through each step in the divorce, will disappear.

    The key word in this approach is collaboration, which means husband and wife must check their howitzers at the door. Instead, they agree to negotiate all aspects of the divorce. The aim is to break up in a way that strives to take into account the highest priorities of each spouse and any children. Mutual respect is crucial, and husband and wife are expected to be honest with each other. That means, for instance, if one of them was having an affair that made them want the divorce, that fact needs to be revealed. And obviously, hiding assets or being less than candid when talks turn to money is a no-no.

A Brief History of Collaborative Law

A Brief History of the Origin of Collaborative Law in the United States
by Diane Woods

Sometime in the late 1980's Stuart "Stu" Webb, a family law practitioner in Minneapolis, Minnesota grew weary of the daily courtroom battles he waged. As seasoned trial lawyer, Stu was adept and knowledgeable. As a caring human being, he longed for a non-combative forum where his analytical skills and ability to generate creative alternatives could be useful. He reasoned that the latter skills were grossly underutilized in the usual adversarial family law proceeding.

Stu was searching for a different way of doing business.

Although he also had training as a mediator, he perceived that one of the weaknesses in mediation was that, in the early stages, mediation frequently lacked critical legal advice from competent counsel. He also observed, in a 1990 letter to one of Minnesota's Supreme Court Justices, that there were occasional times, occurring usually by accident, when in the course of attempting to negotiate a family law settlement, we find ourselves in a conference with the opposing counsel, and perhaps the respective clients, where dynamics were such that in a climate of positive energy, creative alternatives were presented.  In that context, everyone contributed to a final settlement that satisfied all concerned---and everyone left the conference feeling high energy, good feelings and satisfaction.

Stu mused that such a settlement promoted the possibility of the parties relating to each other differently in all future dealings. He also foresaw the possibility of the lawyers developing a degree of trust between them that might make their future dealings more productive.

In this same letter Stu concluded:

So my premise has been: why not create this settlement climate deliberately?  I propose doing this by creating a context for settling family law matters by, where possible, removing the trial aspects from consideration initially. I would do this by creating a coterie of lawyers who would agree to take cases, on a case-by-case basis, for settlement only. The understanding would be that if it were determined at any time that the parties could not agree and settlement didn't appear possible, or if for other reasons adversarial court proceedings were likely to be required, and the attorneys for both sides would withdraw from the case and the parties would retain new attorneys from there on out to final resolution.

I call the attorney in this settlement model a collaborative attorney, practicing in that case collaborative law.

The Civilized Divorce - Part I

The following article is by North Carolina family law attorney Lee Rosen:

Nationwide, collaborative divorce is attracting considerable attention as a proactive and humane settlement option, and it’s starting to catch on . . .. When executed as agreed to by divorcing individuals and their attorneys, studies show that a collaborative settlement is reach faster than older forms of negotiation and greatly reduces the emotional trauma families experience in the throes of a divorce, especially the children. It also significantly lowers the expenses incurred by divorcing couples, protecting families from unnecessary resource depletion at a time when monies are needed to establish two households.

In a collaborative divorce, each spouse has the support, protection, and guidance of his or her own lawyer. Often, other professionals, such as child specialists, financial experts and divorce coaches will be brought in to advise matters in their areas of expertise.

Collaborative divorce is not a dispute resolution option in the same sense as mediation or arbitration. Rather, collaborative divorce is a set of voluntary ground rules entered into by the professionals hired by you and your spouse. While the details vary, the central idea is that the parties agree not to take the case to trial. You, your spouse and all professionals involved sign a contract to honor the following core elements of collaborative divorce:

• To negotiate a mutually acceptable settlement without using court to decide any issues for the clients
• To engage in open communication and information sharing
• To create shared solutions that take into account the highest priorities of both clients
• To ensure the withdrawal of the involved professionals if either client goes to court

Collaborative Divorce, The Hottest Trend in Divorce

Here's a collaborative law recommendation for you, in case you were wondering about this superb method of divorce.  Retired Judge Roderic Duncan, age 72, formerly on the family law bench in Oakland California has written a book called  A Judge's Guide to Divorce:  Uncommon Advice from the Bench.   According to Los Angeles Times reporter Kathy Kristof, "The crux of the book is that traditional divorce brings out the worst in people and the result is that couples end up supporting the college aspirations of their lawyer's lawyers' children rather than their own kids." 

Kristof quotes him saying,  "When I looked back at it after retirement, it became so clear to me that we created a system where the impetus is to fight and contest and nobody gets the result they want," Her article then goes on to describe collaborative divorce as the hottest trend in divorce.  I can't tell if the 74 year old judge said that in his book, or that's the opinion of Kristof.   

SOURCE: LawLady's Divorce Blog

The steps to a collaborative divorce

How a collaborative divorce works

Here are the steps a couple might take in a collaborative divorce:

• Each party chooses a collaboratively trained divorce attorney

• The attorneys contact each other to evaluate whether the divorce can be handled collaboratively.

• The parties meet and sign a contract that says they will not litigate. If they decide to go to court later, their attorneys are disqualified from representing them, and they begin the process over.

• Meetings are scheduled to exchange relevant information about finances and children.

• The parties choose a team that could include divorce coaches (mental-health professionals, a neutral financial adviser, a child advocate). They might or might not meet later with these team members.

• The attorneys draw up the divorce documents. The parties sign them, and the papers are filed with the court.

Source: Gretchen Walther, Albuquerque collaborative divorce attorney and spokeswoman for the American Bar Association and The Arizona Republic

Unhitched without a hitch - Team approach promises more amicable split

Another good article about the benefits of collaborative divorce by Barbara Yost at The Arizona Republic:

When Naomi Garcia sought a divorce in late 2005, a friend recommended attorney Deborah Pratte, who specialized in a process called collaborative divorce. The idea promised a less contentious approach to dissolving a marriage.

Garcia and her husband had been married for 17 years and wanted to spare their 8-year-old daughter the pain of a rancorous split.

"We were extremely concerned about not creating a negative experience for her," the Tucson woman said.

As a social worker, Garcia had seen the wounds that warring parents inflict on their children. "I saw divorce as part of the evil," she said.

Garcia and her husband wanted their divorce to be amicable. Within two months, most of the process had been completed, and the two remained on good terms.

Amicable divorce need not be an oxymoron when couples resolve to put their differences aside and use collaborative law to end a marriage. This style of divorce, created by a Minnesota attorney in 1990, is spreading across the country.

Team Divorce: Why Six Professionals Cost Less Than Two Lawyers

In the emerging field of collaborative law, there is an approach known as the Multi-Disciplinary Model. In essence, this model provides for a collaborative divorce team consisting of two lawyers, two divorce coaches, a child specialist and a financial advisor to assist the couple. Many people may scoff at this idea, especially since one of the goals of collaborative law is to reduce the amount of cost associated with divorce. But a closer look at the multi disciplinary approach helps explain why this team of six can be more cost effective than the traditional method of divorce.

The first thing to keep in mind is that divorce affects couples on many levels. There are financial, legal and emotional considerations and then there are issues involving children. In simple terms, a divorce is a multi task assignment. These tasks include not only reaching a legal division, but also the development of age-appropriate parenting plans, learning communication skills that will move spouses successfully along the road of co-parenting, moving away from the blame/shame cycle. The financial portion of a divorce can be complicated by uncertainty about the future, tax considerations, and different methods of structuring a financial settlement.

In the traditional model, lawyers are called upon to handle all of these tasks, which is impossible considering that lawyers are neither accountants, therapists or child specialists. As a result, the divorce becomes final but many issues often go unresolved. In a collaborative divorce, there are neither dueling lawyers nor dueling experts. The Collaborative Divorce model instead uses a collaborative team who provides containment for the couple as they go through the divorce transition. Within this model, clients are informed of their process choices, which includes the involvement of different professionals such as lawyers, mental health professionals who act as divorce coaches, mental health professionals who act as neutral child specialists, and neutral financial specialists.

The Collaborative Divorce Team

The following is an excerpt from Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move on with Your Life by Pauline H. Tesler and Peggy Thompson, appearing at Divorce Magazine.com:

THERE are all kinds of houses – big and small, simple and complex – but no matter what kind of house you require, the sequence of steps you'll need to take to get it built are the same, involving many choices at every juncture. Whatever kind of house you build, it starts with a foundation, moves through framing to roofing, and leaves the finish work until last. If you do your research, gather your information, take your time, and make good decisions, relying on a well-chosen team of experienced building professionals, your new house can provide shelter and comfort for a lifetime.

Similarly, when the time comes to choose who will be on your collaborative divorce team, you'll need to consider your own specific situation, as well as how much of a budget you have for your divorce and how much importance you place on the excellence of the design and the lasting strength of the ultimate results. One person alone can't do the job of a team of specialists. But exactly what mix of collaborative professionals is best for you may different from what another couple settles on. You may begin with collaborative lawyers and, with their advice, decide to bring coaches and a child specialist onto the team. Another couple may begin with coaches, who will refer them to collaborative lawyers and a financial consultant. Wherever you begin, the job of your first professional helper will include advising you about the right mix of collaborative professional help for your own specific needs – advice you'll need to choose the best team for your specific situation.

The team members

The following professionals are all specially trained to work skillfully together as a fully staffed team with the two collaborative lawyers selected by the divorcing spouses: two mental health professionals working as coaches, a child specialist, and a neutral collaborative financial consultation (typically, a certified financial planner or certified public accountant with a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst credential or its equivalent).

Collaborative Divorce A Growing Trend

Thanks to Wendy Jaffe at Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married for this post on the use of collaborative law in divorce cases:

Yesterday on NPR's "Day to Day," I heard a fascinating piece on the collaborative divorce.  The host spoke with a CPA, lawyer, and counselor on this new and less confrontational method of divorce.  A number of states, including California, allow methods other than litigation to end a marriage.

In an era when many many marriages end up in bitter court battles with multiple attorneys and huge legal fees, many feel there is a more "humane" approach to the process.

During a collaborative divorce a spouse combines a team of experts including a lawyer, financial planner, therapist, and/or professional mediator.  The goal is to get the two spouses to work well enough together to maintain a relationship between the parties-- especially if children are involved.  The experts quoted argue that the adversarial relationship between two divorcing spouses often hurt the parties more than the events that lead up to the divorce. 

Well worth a listen.

SOURCE: Divorce Lawyers' Guide to Staying Married

When You Can Keep Lawyers Out of Divorce -- And When You Need One

When getting divorced without a lawyer makes sense -- and when you should hire one.

You probably know of people who suffered the torments of hell going through divorce, and you also probably know people who pulled it off without much fuss. Why are some divorces sensible and others catastrophic?

The answer can depend, to a surprising extent, on just one factor: how much you rely on lawyers and courts to resolve troublesome issues. The less you use the court, the less cost and heartache, and, in many cases, the better quality of the final result. But how do you avoid courts and lawyers?

Make Decisions by Yourselves

In theory, at least, it's simple: You do best if you and your spouse work out thorny issues together, with help from a neutral third person, such as a mediator, if you need it. You don't let lawyers haggle over such vital matters as how your children will be raised, what happens to the family home, and how your property will be divided. If you and your spouse can work these issues out yourselves -- and many, if not most, couples can -- you will save yourselves time, money, and anguish. More important, you will spare your children the ugly spectacle of extended parental fights, helping them come through the divorce as undamaged as possible.

If you are able to resolve the big questions of children, money, and property, you then just need to ask the court, in writing, to grant a divorce. In many states, you don't even have to appear in court. Many courts now make it relatively easy for people to handle an uncontested divorce without a lawyer.

Keep Lawyers From Fanning the Flames

When you're emotionally distraught or angry, turning all the details and hassle of a divorce over to a lawyer may seem like a perfect solution. Unfortunately, it can turn out to be a deal with the devil. Most observers -- and people who have been through an acrimonious divorce -- agree that lawyers frequently make things worse, not better.

This happens because lawyers operate under a prime directive: the zealous pursuit of their client's interests. One lawyer can't fully represent both divorcing spouses, because each spouse's best interests are different. So, when one spouse brings a lawyer into a divorce, the other usually does likewise. There may even be a third lawyer to represent the children if there is a custody dispute. And then it can get ugly. When two or more lawyers are fighting for their clients' interests, the battle can go on and on, intensifying in passion, until the clients run out of money and limp to the settlement table.

Worse, if there are children, the fight depletes not only your pocketbook but also your children's sense of security and self-esteem. Once the legal fight is over, trying to establish a normal ongoing parenting relationship between both parents and the children can be very difficult.

How to Keep Lawyers Civil

If you and your spouse do hire lawyers, you can stop your lawyer from engaging in lengthy, expensive arguments with your spouse's attorney. Explain that you believe a combative approach does not suit your or your children's needs. Most lawyers would rather have a satisfied client than feed their ego by fighting the other side's attorney.

How Collaborative Law Works

Some family lawyers are trying a new method called "collaborative law," in which the clients and lawyers agree that they will not go to court but will share information voluntarily and work cooperatively toward a settlement. Collaborative lawyers will take cases only where the other spouse has also hired a collaborative lawyer, and the lawyers sign an agreement that, if the case can't be settled, the parties have to hire another lawyer to do the litigation. This removes the lawyers' financial incentive to go to court and encourages everyone to settle earlier.

When to Hire a Lawyer

It makes a lot of sense to hire a lawyer if there is a real problem with abuse -- spousal, child, sexual, or substance. In that situation, a lawyer can help you get the arrangement you need to protect yourself and your children.

It can also make sense to hire a lawyer if your spouse is being dishonest or vindictive and you just can't cope with it. In that case, you may need someone to protect your interests.

It's also prudent to hire a lawyer if your spouse has an attorney. This is especially true if you have children or are facing complicated financial issues. It could be difficult and emotionally intimidating to go head to head with a seasoned pro.

If you can't afford a lawyer, consider calling your local legal aid office. If you qualify financially, a lawyer will at a minimum discuss the legal aspects of your case with you and may continue to answer questions on an ongoing basis during your proceedings while you represent yourself. Ask whether the legal aid office has a pro bono program. The office may have a list of private attorneys that are willing to take on cases referred by legal aid, at little or no cost.

If you don't qualify for legal services or pro bono help, you'll have to shop around for someone to represent you.

If You Fear Violence

If you fear that your spouse might harm you or your children or abscond with your property, take action immediately. Move to a safe place, and, if necessary, get a temporary restraining order to keep the spouse away. It's very important that you also get a temporary order for custody of your children, so that you're not accused of kidnapping. If you need money, you have the right to use your joint accounts. Take the amount of money you realistically need plus some extra for emergencies (but try not to take more than half of what's there unless you absolutely have to), and immediately file an action in court for support.

How Divorce Mediation Can Help

Mediators help you and your spouse get over the emotional barriers to negotiation and fashion a sensible divorce agreement that meets the both of your needs. Unlike lawyers, mediators work with both spouses at the same time. They don't represent the individual spouses' interests, the way a lawyer does. Instead, mediators facilitate a negotiation between the spouses that in most cases results in an agreement satisfactory to both sides.

SOURCE: Nolo

Collaborating On Divorce

What's different about this story?

Recently, the more than 25-year-old marriage between Sam and June ran its course. Sam’s business was the family’s financial engine and the marriage’s greatest asset. However, when he and June mutually decided to divorce, his business was in a down cycle, so its valuation for the settlement was a major concern for both.

Luckily, June had confidence in the company's ultimate upswing, and they were able to agree that she would maintain nonvoting shares in lieu of receiving alimony, an arrangement that helped to keep the business intact. Could this sound reasoning and win-win solution be achieved in the process of a divorce?

Yes, it sprung from an alternative form of divorce called collaborative practice, increasingly popular with divorcing couples who want to plan for the future or have children or businesses and for same-sex marriages unsanctioned by the courts. Collaborative practice takes place outside of the courts, involves attorneys and (depending on the need) a divorce team of child specialists, financial experts and process coaches who inform the process and allow couples to tailor educated decisions for themselves and their families.

Had Sam and June opted to litigate, Sam likely would have had to pay alimony and June’s income would have been much lower than it is now from dividends she receives from a mature company. Fortunately, Sam was comfortable with the collaborative solution devised with the financial specialist, giving June a role as a silent shareholder. The business has continued to grow instead of being drained or dismantled, as often is the case for businesses bound to divorcing couples.

"Small businesses are just like children in a marriage," says Lynn Russell, a family law attorney with Russell & Herrera in Atlanta. Russell equates collaborative financial specialists with the child specialist on the collaborative team except, instead of worrying about children, they design "the long-term co-parenting plan for the business."

The financial specialists on a collaborative team are often strategic planners and consultants who work with businesses in restructuring. Their role is to help divorcing couples understand the financial implications of settlement options with information, analysis and projections.

In a collaborative divorce, when there is a business at stake, the financial specialist interviews clients and employees, looks at organizational structures and determines the company’s fair market value. Whether or not there is a business involved, as the team begins to discuss asset division and support payments, the financial specialist will use the couple's mutually agreed-upon assumptions to provide short- and long-term projections and clarify the estimated effect of potential settlements on lifestyle and future financial security for both households.

"The collaborative financial specialist educates clients," said Bob Bordett of Consolidated Planning and a board member of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP). "I had a client this morning tell me what they liked was the fact that when she came into the process she did not have a clue about her financial situation. Her husband handled everything. After working with the couple and bringing the wife up to a level playing field she felt comfortable and able to make wise financial decisions to help the process move along."

By keeping the dispute outside the courts and using the professional services of specialists efficiently, collaboration generally costs about one-third less than a litigated divorce.

Finally, while collaboration was developed to ensure an equitable and respectful divorce, its core principles are applicable to other forms of dispute resolution. Russell is, in fact, part of a task force formed by the IACP to apply the process to business dispute resolution around probate and estate work, nonprofit and religious institutional disputes, medical error and more.

SOURCE: Forbes

COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE: A Team Approach to Divorce

The following is an article by Pauline H. Tesler about Collaborative Divorce:

Ms. Tesler is an author, a trainer, a specialist in family law certified by the California State Bar Board of Legal Specialization, a Fellow in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, and a recipient of the first ABA Dispute Resolution Section’s Lawyer as Problem Solver Award.

Psychologist Abraham Maslow said, “If your only tool is a hammer, all problems tend to resemble nails” – a maxim that goes far to explain why the conventional tools and techniques we lawyers have traditionally had available to us for handling divorces so rarely produce satisfied clients.  Many family lawyers initially thought that mediation, which took root in the family law field during the eighties, might bridge the gap between the obvious needs of divorcing families and the poorly-matched tools and resources available to them in court-based legal conflict resolution.  That hope did not bear fruit.  Mediation works well for some, but not all or even most divorcing couples.  As mediator and mediation theorist Bernard Mayer has observed, the strictly neutral role of a mediator does not always serve clients well, because alongside a desire to reach a contained settlement, clients at the same time have a need for support and advocacy that a neutral mediator cannot provide.

In mediation, one neutral conducts the conflict resolution process, with the spouses negotiating directly, face to face.  The mediator, who must maintain neutrality, cannot counsel individual parties or do much to level an unequal bargaining table or to address obstructive or non-constructive participation by a party.  Individual legal counsel may or may not be present during the mediation, but in either case, the lawyers do not participate directly in negotiations. Instead, they advise clients privately about the law, the issues, and the proposed resolutions.  This creates an inherently unstable structure in which the lawyers are not fully aligned with the goal of settlement and, indeed, may advise clients to terminate the mediation process and litigate instead.

Collaborative Divorce Introduced
Collaborative divorce (also called collaborative law, collaborative family law, and collaborative practice) has become highly visible in the field of family law in the United States and Canada since its introduction in the early nineties, and now is spreading rapidly in Europe, in Australia, and in New Zealand.  The remarkable speed of its acceptance among family lawyers can be attributed to the fact that it works toward the same goals that mediation seeks: contained, civilized, constructive, self-determined, interest-based conflict resolution, but without the inherent weaknesses that render mediation difficult for many divorcing couples. 

In contrast to mediation, the negotiations in collaborative divorce take place in direct meetings conducted with clients present and at the forefront, and with collaborative counsel by their sides.  The negotiations are guided and managed by the same two lawyers who provide the legal counsel, advocacy, and support that divorcing clients so often need.  These lawyers are allies and advocates, not neutrals.  Significantly, both lawyers and both clients sign a binding contract that precludes those two collaborative lawyers from ever threatening litigation or taking the matter to court.  If the collaborative process terminates, both collaborative lawyers must bow out and hand the matter over to new litigation counsel. 

The Nuts and Bolts
The nuts and bolts of collaborative law are as follows:

• Each party is represented by a specially trained collaborative lawyer.
• These two collaborative lawyers are bound by the same professional ethical mandates that all lawyers must honor.
• The lawyers are retained pursuant to a “limited purpose retention.”  The sole purpose for which the lawyers are hired is to help their clients reach a reasonable, acceptable settlement of all issues, without litigating or threatening to litigate.
• The clients retain their right to terminate the collaborative divorce process and to take their issues to court, but the collaborative lawyers and other collaborative professionals cannot go with them.                   
• Information is shared fully and freely, on request.  Hence, suspicion and paranoia drop dramatically from what is normally experienced in litigation.

• All negotiations take place directly, face to face, in “fourway” settlement meetings.  The lawyers do not bargain as agents in the absence of their clients.  Interest-based negotiations are the preferred mode, not positional bargaining. 
• In addition to a collaborative lawyer, each party is encouraged to have a divorce coach to help the party constructively articulate emotions and key issues. 
• Instead of being kept in the dark and out of the loop, the clients’ children have a voice as well.  When couples choose a fully-staffed interdisciplinary collaborative divorce team, a neutral child development specialist is included.  This professional listens to the children’s chief concerns and helps the family to address them in a separate meeting with the coaches.
• Finally, a neutral financial consultant helps parties and lawyers gather the financial data, analyzes the family resources, and helps the couple to understand the size of the pie, offering creative solutions for consideration that can be far beyond a court’s power to order.2Plus there are no hidden finances or surprises and as a result many couples under stand their money situation better than before.   Instead of playing the litigation game of “hide the ball,” this consultant ensures that all financial questions are answered and all necessary information is brought to the table so that sound solutions can be devised.  With the financial consultant’s help, many couples do not just reach divorce agreements—they also understand their money situation far better than ever before.
• These professional helpers all work together to help a couple focus  not just on reaching a “quick fix” settlement agreement, but on laying a foundation for optimum communications and problem solving during the period of rapid changes a couple can expect after the legal divorce judgment has been entered.   They remain available as needed to help couples adjust their parenting plans in light of actual experience during the months and even years following entry of judgment.

Why Collaborative Divorce Training is Essential and How to Get It
If you are interested in learning more about collaborative divorce, the starting point is to obtain high-quality collaborative training.  Collaborative practice requires special skills that lawyers do not learn in law school, in court, or in mediation trainings, and you cannot do it competently without taking the time to learn this new craft.  Here are some pointers to keep in mind.

• There is a wealth of information available at www.collaborativepractice.com, the website of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP).  There you can find local practitioners and practice groups in your region, announcements of training programs and conferences, collaborative law publications and other professional member resources, and materials about collaborative divorce for distribution to clients.
• IACP has promulgated standards for practitioners and trainers, as well as ethical standards, that you should become familiar with.  A basic training that meets IACP standards consists of two days, or twelve hours, of instruction, role-play, and discussion.
• There are now many books on collaborative divorce available for professionals, including Collaborative Law: Achieving Effective Resolution in Divorce without Litigation, written by this author.
• The first book for general readers, Collaborative Divorce: The Revolutionary New Way to Restructure Your Family, Resolve Legal Issues, and Move On with Your Life, is a good basic orientation to collaborative law and to interdisciplinary team collaboration.

SOURCE: American Bar Association

Happy Divorces

TWO YEARS AGO, when Lori Tricarico and her husband realized their 16-year marriage was over, they agreed on one thing: Their divorce wouldn't get ugly. "We have two daughters and our ultimate goal was to remain friendly," says the 40-year-old from Cumming, Ga.

So when Tricarico's lawyer told her about collaborative divorce — a relatively new procedure where both spouses and their attorneys meet and talk things through with the goal of avoiding conflict and the courtroom — the couple decided to give it a try. Now, Tricarico says, they're both glad they did. "We had great meetings," she says. "It really was good."

Good isn't a word you normally associate with the dissolution of a marriage. And even though only 2% or so of divorces do end up in the courtroom — most are settled before they get that far — reaching a settlement can be long, expensive and unpleasant. In a traditional divorce, each side talks only to his or her lawyer, and then the lawyers talk with each other. It's a system that can easily deepen animosities, says Katherine Stoner, an attorney, mediator and author of "Divorce Without Court: A Guide to Mediation and Collaborative Divorce."

The goal of collaborative divorce is to avoid that. "In a collaborative divorce, the decisions have to be made by the couple," Stoner says. The two sides and their attorneys meet together and talk until they reach an agreement everyone deems fair. They agree to provide all information — such as financial records — voluntarily, rather than having their lawyers gather evidence. As a result, collaborative divorce can be significantly less expensive, Stoner says. Costs vary depending on the case, but while a typical litigated divorce could run as high as $70,000, collaborative would be closer to the $15,000 to $20,000 range.

Just how common is collaborative divorce? Because it is a relatively new concept, it isn't yet available everywhere in the country. But that's changing fast as more lawyers and financial advisors become aware of collaborative divorce and go through the required training. "The growth in terms of trained professionals has been exponential over the past five years," says Sue Hansen, president of the International Academy of Collaborative Professionals (IACP), which provides the required training. She estimates there are now more than 10,000 collaborative professionals in the country.

But even as it becomes more common, collaborative divorce isn't the right solution for all couples. Here's how to find out if it's right for you.

The Basics
The main premise of collaborative divorce is that the spouses end things amicably and out of court. They do that through four-way meetings where the spouses and their lawyers discuss what each person wants in terms of a settlement. They even sign an agreement that they will not take matters to court and if they do, are required to hire different lawyers.

The spouses can hire specialists to help with financial, parenting and communications issues. If they have children, for example, a child specialist will meet with the kids and help the parents develop a parenting plan. A neutral financial expert is typically called in to help divide the assets fairly. (To remain neutral, the expert is not allowed to manage assets, sell investments or insurance, or have any other professional relationship with either spouse before and after the divorce.) Finally, each spouse can hire a coach — a mental health professional trained to help spouses deal with divorce-related emotions — who can step in if communications get rowdy and bring the process back on track.

"Everyone has the same goal — to do this here, in this room, with this team, and not take it to court," says Rebecca Pace, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA), a designation given to financial planners trained in the collaborative divorce method.

That's how things worked out for Tricarico, whose divorce was finalized within four months of the first meeting. "It felt like not only you have an advocate in your attorney, but the other attorney wasn't against you, either," she says.

Collaborative Failures
But that doesn't mean collaborative divorce always works out happily in the end. Mark Hill, a CDFA in San Diego, recalls a couple he worked with as a financial advisor. When he asked the wife how the first meeting with the lawyers went, she simply said, "Well, I managed not to crawl across the table and scratch his eyes out."

"There'd been an affair by the husband and she was so angry," Hill explains. "And coming from such a place of entitlement because of that. She felt like 'He betrayed me, he needs to pay financially.'" The process fell through and the couple ended up in court.

Needless to say, collaborative divorce can be a waste of time when one or both spouses feel seriously wronged. "When you're so furious with your spouse that you can't look at them without wanting to assault them, how can you be respectful?" Hill says.

Before you sit at the same table, be sure you're ready to listen and compromise, says Sharyn Sooho, co-founder of DivorceNet.com, an online community, and a divorce lawyer in Newton, Mass. "Some people think they're going to be good candidates but all it does is provide them another forum for fighting that can go on and on," she says.

The good news: These days, collaborative lawyers typically "screen" their clients. They have predivorce meetings at which they explain the concept clearly. Sooho estimates that less than 5% of collaborative cases actually fail.

Choosing the Best Team
For their son's sake, Christopher Cole, a 36-year-old music producer in San Diego, and his now ex-wife were dedicated to making collaborative divorce work. But that wasn't the goal of his ex's first lawyer, who despite claiming to be in collaborative law came to the table with an "us against them" approach. The couple fired her and hired somebody actually recommended by the lawyer representing Cole.

"It may not make sense, but you want to choose lawyers who have worked together," Cole says. (We have changed his name at his request.) It feels counterintuitive, he says, but it pays its dividends. "The process didn't do anything to deepen our animosity," he says. "In fact, it had the opposite effect."

In collaborative divorce, it's all about building the best team, says Pauline Tesler, a collaborative lawyer in San Francisco, and author of the book "Collaborative Divorce¹." She recommends that each person in the couple interview several attorneys to find the ones they feel comfortable with. (Use the IACP's database² to find lawyers in your area.) [Editor's note: In Georgia, use the member list of the Collaborative Law Institute of Georgia]

It's also important to find two lawyers who have a track record of working with each other. "Even if they're representing opposite sides, they need to be able to work effectively and help manage conflict if it arises," Tesler says. That's also where coaches, whom each spouse chooses, come in. The coaches can recommend a child specialist and the lawyers can recommend a financial specialist.

For Mark Garrison, a 48-year-old company executive and his now ex-wife, a good team proved indispensable from the very start. Even though the couple was committed to parting ways with respect and with the least impact on their two sons, Garrison (whose name we've changed) says his wife had a hard time accepting the finality of their situation.

"Getting divorced was a hard decision," he says. "We were married for 18 years, we shared a life together and we had kids." With the help of their coaches, the spouses were able to move past the emotional issues and eventually reach a settlement that made both of them happy. "Our kids, at the end of the day, realize that even though we're divorced, we still like each other," he says.

SOURCE: SmartMoney.com

Collaborative Divorce Featured on Today Show

Interview with a divorced couple who used the collaborative law process.

SOURCE: YouTube

Who Practices Collaborative Family Law?

All professionals who practice collaborative family law focus on the family in different ways. The lawyers have an expertise in domestic relations (family law), the mental health professionals are well-versed in family systems, and the financial neutral has working knowledge of asset divisions, child support guidelines, cash flow analyses, and basic tax implications of support payments. They are specially trained in the collaborative process, commit to the Standards of Conduct and follow the Guidelines of Practice established by the Collaborative Law Institute of Georgia.

The professionals practicing collaboratively commit to the process as well as its outcome. Their training and education encourages mature, co-operative and non-combative behavior. They contact not to participate should the case go to court and in that way have a stake in the success of the process.

The professionals who practice collaboratively protect the privacy and dignity of all involved in the process. They uphold high standards of integrity and, if inconsistencies and miscalculations occur, seek to correct them.

Collaborative practitioners expend as much effort working toward settlement of your case as they would to prepare for and conduct a trial. Together with their clients, the collaborative professional expends his or her time and energy on settlement, parenting plans, financial analysis, and education. The parties provide complete, honest and open disclosure of all relevant information without formal proceedings. The inter-disciplinary network of divorce professionals and their clients are committed to finding creative ways to achieve and implement a settlement that will be best for the family.

How Does the Collaborative Process Work?

As in traditional family law/divorce cases, your lawyer supports only you and your spouse's lawyer supports only your spouse. In the collaborative process, both lawyers are trained to consider the other parties’ perspective in order to help both of you reach agreements that accomplish the goals of both parties and preserve the welfare of the entire family.

Collaborative practitioners work as part of an inter-disciplinary network of professionals to provide expertise and advice on issues relevant to the ultimate settlement of the case.

Before the process begins, the lawyers and clients formally contract to work together to resolve the issues of the case. Both lawyers contract not to take the case to court. They sign a contract titled “Participation Agreement”. In traditional litigation the divorce process begins with the filing of a lawsuit. The collaborative process begins with the signing of the Participation Agreement.

The parties also sign a document “Statement of Understanding Among Team Members”. This document contains the commitment of the professionals and the parties to work together as a team with the common goal of resolution of all issues in a way that best meets the needs of all involved.

The collaborative process differs significantly from the traditional litigation process. After both parties have each retained their collaborative lawyer, the lawyers contact one another to “triage” the case. The lawyers immediately begin to address the needs of their clients by discussing their clients’ needs and desires with the other lawyer. The lawyers schedule an initial 4 way meeting which includes both lawyers and both parties. An agenda that outlines the items that will be discussed at the first meeting is sent to both parties. Any pressing issues will be covered in that first meeting, after the required participation agreements are signed.

At the first meeting, the parties will also identify the other professionals with whom they will be working. The other professionals include coaches, a child specialist if children are involved and a single financial neutral.

The collaborative process begins only with the signing of the Participation Agreement and Statement of Understanding by the attorneys and parties at their first 4 way meeting. After that first meeting, depending on the needs and desires of the parties, they may work with their coaches, the child specialist and/or the financial neutral before seeing their attorneys again. In this way, costs are minimized as the professional with the appropriate expertise deals with their particular area. For example, the coaches will help the parties address their communication issues in order to assist them in creating a parenting plan for their children. The child specialist will hear from the children and offer feedback to the coaches and parties to insure that the children’s developmental needs are considered. The financial neutral will gather information from the parties and work with them and the attorneys to craft a financial plan based on a realistic financial picture.

The meetings in the collaborative process promote improved communication and cooperation. The collaborative environment is one that fosters informed analysis and reasoning. In the process, the professionals and parties generate options and create a positive context for settlement. The parties always retain control over their outcome. The commitment to continued cooperation, even if communication becomes difficult, increases the likelihood of a solution that builds a foundation for the future of the family even as the parents begin separate lives.

Ultimately, once all issues are resolved, the attorneys draft a settlement agreement and the pleadings necessary to obtain a divorce. The pleadings are filed jointly and indicate to the court that the parties have reached an agreement through the collaborative process. If possible, the attorneys file a Motion for Judgment on the Pleadings, a document which allows a Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce to be granted by the court without the necessity of a court appearance. If the court will not grant a final divorce in that manner, one or both of the parties will appear in court for the short amount of time it takes for the court to accept their settlement agreement and grant them a final divorce.

Is the Collaborative Process Right For Me?

Couples whose marriages are in trouble face many difficult decisions, all of which have the potential for serious consequences.

Some of these may be:

·         Is this marriage worth saving?

·         Will the children be harmed?

·         What will be the ramifications of our divorce?

·         How deeply will it alter our life?

You may also feel:

·         Ambivalent about ending the relationship

·         You are the most hurt, misunderstood, damaged, or least powerful person in the relationship

·         Your partner is using the myriad of divorce counter plays as a way to stay married

·         Intimidated by your partner in addressing and resolving complex and difficult issues

·         We would have a great divorce if it weren't for the other party

·         The divorce is your last chance to destroy the other party

Why Should I Choose the Collaborative Process Instead of Traditional Litigation?

Lower Cost
The collaborative process is generally less costly and time-consuming than litigation.

Client Involvement
The client is a vital part of the settlement team and have a greater sense of involvement in the decision making which affects their lives.

Supportive Approach
Each client is supported by their lawyer and coach in a manner that still allows the attorneys to work collaboratively with one another in resolving issues.

Less Stress
The process is much less fear and anxiety producing than utilizing Court proceedings or the threat of such proceedings. Everyone can focus on settlement without the imminent threat of "going to Court".

Win-Win Climate
The Collaborative process creates a positive climate that produces a more satisfactory outcome for both parties. The possibility actually exists for participants to create a climate that facilitates "win-win" settlements.

Speed
The speed of the collaborative process is governed by the parties rather than court calendars.

Creativity
The collaborative process encourages creative solutions in resolving issues.

Clients in Charge
The non-adversarial nature of the collaborative process shifts decision making into the hands of the clients where it belongs, rather than into the hands of a third party (the court).

SOURCE: Collaborative Law Institute of Georgia