As we approach the January 1, 2008, implementation date for HB 369, the Georgia Shared Parenting Act, we are mindful of the new requirements for parenting plans in divorce and other family law cases involving custody (joint or shared) of minor children. The 9th Judicial Administrative District Office of Dispute Resolution, covering the courts in most of North Central and Northeast Georgia (Superior Courts of Cherokee County, Fannin County, Forsyth County, Gilmer County, Gwinnett County, Habersham County, Hall County, Lumpkin County, Pickens County, Rabun County, Stephens County, Towns County, Union County, and White County), has prepared a helpful pamphlet called "What's Best for My Child? (Ages and Stages of Children). You can find it here or it is included below.
SOURCE:9th Judicial Administrative District Office of Dispute Resolution
Related Posts:
When creating a parenting plan, the age, needs, and personality of
each child must be considered. The amount of time a parent spends
with a child is in no way a measure of how much they love their child.
You will both continue to be parents. Children struggle with changes
and need support on how to cope with them. One of the biggest
changes for children is having parents who live in two different homes.
Things to Consider When Developing a Parenting Plan
- Conflict between parents makes it hard for children to adjust to their new
situations. The greater the conflict, the harder it is for the children. - Children's needs come first.
- Children and all family members have a right to be safe.
- Life may be less complicated for parents and children when there are
fewer transitions. - Many children do better with a "home base" with one parent, and frequent
contact with the other parent, although other arrangements can also work
well. - As children get older, they usually can handle longer periods away from
either parent. - Each child is unique. Consider temperament, personality, and needs
when creating the parenting plan. - All children have a right to love, care, and commitment from their parents.
- Detailed parenting plans may be more useful for some parents.
- Consistency and predictability are important for most children.
Their age |
Their "jobs" |
Their needs |
Signs of distress: (especially if it goes on for a long time) |
5-8 years
|
To increase understanding of the difference between fantasy and reality To deepen attachments with other people (parents, teachers, etc.) To notice gender differences To believe in fairness
|
To be reminded that the divorce/separation is not their fault Structured and consistent time with each parent if appropriate Parental support at school and sport activities Support for exploring and expanding interests and relationships
|
Physical complaints (e.g., stomach aches, headaches, etc.) Sleep problems Expression of anger and behavior problems with parent most connected to Bed wetting, baby talk
|
9-12 years |
To feel good about relationships and their physical development To develop and test values and beliefs To be connected to their school and community
|
Consistency and predictability in schedules and routines Parent support in school and sports activities Encouragement and permission to love both parents Reminders that the divorce/separation is not their fault More open communication with their parents
|
Loss of interest in friends and other relationships Isolate themselves Become "too good" Depression and extreme rebellion
|
Adolescence |
To develop greater independence and separation from family To develop a sense of moral values (these may change) To express resistance and rebelliousness while forming their identity (much like two year olds) To be naturally self-centered
|
Flexibility and understanding from parents regarding their time with friends and activities Reminders that the Divorce/separation is not their fault Many teens want a say in the parenting plan Positive role models Reasonable, firm, and fair guidelines
|
Excessive anger and negativity Excessive isolation, depression Trying to be "too good" Difficulty with school or peers Alcohol and drug use, sexual promiscuity
|
References
Gardner, Howard, Developmental Psychology. Little, Brown & Co. (1982).
Garrity, Carla B. and Mitchell A. Baris, Caught in the Middle. Lexington Books (1994).
Hetherington, E. Mavis and Ross D. Parke, Child Psychology: A Contemporary Viewpoint. McGraw Hill (1979)
Lyster, Mimi E., Child Custody: Building Parenting Agreements that Work (3rd Ed.). Nolo Press (Jan. 2000).
Stahl, Philip M., Parenting After Divorce: A Guide to Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Children's Needs. Impact Publishers
(Oct. 2000).
State of Colorado, Office of the State Court Administrator, Parenting Plan: http:www.courts.state.co.us/scao/scao/formsdom.htm.
Comments